Since I've missed most of the beginnings of your story, I've been curious about some things. If you'd rather answer in an email to me, that's fine. :-) How did you come to choose adoption? Did you know right away you wanted an open adoption? Did you get matched through an agency or online? If through an agency, which one?You didn't really miss out on the beginnings of the story, since I didn't start writing here until after Eddie was born. (Six years ago! I'm still wrapping my mind around the idea that I have a six-year-old.) A few other people asked about "the beginnings," so I'll be writing more about that this month. The short version of how Todd and I decided to adopt goes something like this:
- Got married knowing we both wanted to be parents eventually
- Talked about having both kids by birth and by adoption
- Had some great years just being married with no children
- Woke up at 29 (me)/28 (him) and decided that now we were ready to be parents. By this time we know that there are some things wrong with me that would make a pregnancy really difficult, if not impossible. Since we already had vague plans to adopt someday and no interest whatsoever in getting into the world of reproductive technology, we started our family via adoption and thought we'd work on having a baby by birth later.
We used two different agencies, one for Eddie's adoption and one for Marian's adoption. We did know we wanted an open adoption from the very beginning and tried hard to find an agency we thought would support one. Unfortunately, Agency #1 talked a good game around openness but not much else. I don't name the agencies we used on the blog because I'm too lazy to get in a fight with Agency #1, but I've always shared names with anyone who's asked by email.
We did absolutely nothing to advertise ourselves or find a match or however you want to phrase it. Agency #1 definitely suggested we try to "network." We said, "No way," and that was the end of it. We had little online profiles on the agency website both times around, but I don't think any of our children's first parents even looked at them when they picked us. Our matching was pretty old school!