June 19, 2009

Open Adoption Roundtable #2

The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It's designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don't need to be part of the Open Adoption Bloggers list to participate, or even have a traditional open adoption. If you're thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table.

Publish your response during the next week--linking back here so we can all find one other--and leave a link to your post in the comments. If you don't blog, you can always leave your thoughts directly in the comments.

Our second assignment on this Father's Day weekend (at least here in the U.S.): Write about the father(s) in your family's open adoption(s). Our experiences are too varied to narrow it down to one specific question to answer. But every adoption involves at least one father. Write about his presence or his absence, record a memory or write him a letter. Tell us about the dads and the adoption-related choices they've made.


Thanksgivingmom at I Should Really Be Working confronts her feelings about having to share motherhood of a daughter who will only ever have one father.

Ginger of Puzzle Pieces talks about her very different relationships with her four daughters' fathers: three by adoption and one by birth.

Spyderkl at Evil Mommy honors what her daughter's two fathers have given to her.

Lavender Luz of Weebles Wobblog sends out a Father's Day message to her children's fathers--both the ones present and one absent.

Tammy at You Just Never Know Where Hope Might Take Ya... confronts the absence of her children's birth fathers with painful honesty.

Arcadia of Look Beneath the Skin looks through the many dads in her complicated family tree: the father who raised her while keeping her adoption a secret, the birth father with whom she reunited, her placed daughter's adoptive and biological fathers, and the intended father of her surrogate baby.

Cindy.psbm looks back at her son's birth and placement and considers the role his birth father played.

Tracey of Grace Comes By Hearing acknowledges the anonymous men who fathered her husband and son, and the dads who stepped in to take their place.

Jenna of The Chronicles of Munchkin Land considers the different blessings her daughter receives from the many fathers in her life.

Mama2Roo at Letters to a Birthmother writes a touching letter to her son's absent birth father, longing to know more about him for the sake of her son.

Thorn of Mother Issues writes about her partner's first dad, a man who was present enough to be known but not enough to be a father.

Leigh at Sturdy Yet Fragile wonders about her daughter's birth father could have shown lack of interest in the eight years since her birth and placement, and worries about what that may communicate to their daughter one day.

Valerie of From Another Mother honors four fathers: her adoptive dad and the birth dad who never forgot her, her son's adoptive father and the birth father who showed his care for him.

Robyn at the Adoption.com Domestic Infant Adoption Blog creates a tribute to her husband's loving care of their son.

Andi-bo-bandi of The Many Faces of KJ struggles honestly with her feelings about the birth father who wanted nothing to do with her adopted son.

Jess at The Problem With Hope expresses the hurt that comes when a father's words don't match his actions.

Okiemunchkinsmom at But, Aren't You Afraid? writes a lovely tribute to her children's father.

Lassie of Eggs Benedict Arnold takes stock of her feelings about her daughter's first father. "...I don’t like or dislike J. I respect him, I’m grateful to him, I honor his place in my family, but I don’t know enough about him or the year he spent raising LL to say I like him. I am, however, open to liking J."

M de P of Reservado Para Futura Mamá talks about her approach to the difficult topic of her daughter's anonymous birth father.

And I remember the night my son's first dad became a father.


Andi-bo-bandi said...

Nothing like such an easy question to start my weekend! Thanks, Heather! Bleh! ;-)

spyderkl said...

Oh, my. There's a tough one...

Thanksgivingmom said...


I gotta go shake this one off, but ask and ye shall receive:


Ginger said...

Okay. Here it is: http://adoptionpuzzle.blogspot.com/2009/06/four-fathers.html

Lori Lavender Luz said...

Very timely topic.

Mine is up here:


Ginger said...

An IRL friend of mine read my post and then posted to her blog. I think it fits the topic and should be part of the list even if she never writes to another round table prompt but I guess that's your decision.

Here it is:


Tammy said...

Mine is up here

cindy psbm said...

I wrote something too!!


please read and tell me if it's ok...

Tracey said...

Here is my post on your topic...thanks for doing this.


Jenna said...

Ours: http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2009/06/21/open-adoption-roundtable-2-fathers/

Anonymous said...

I wrote one this time too. I guess I'm doing this roundtable thing!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, link.

mama2roo said...

Yay! I did it (before deadline!!)


Leigh said...

Sorry I don't have anything uplifting to say when it comes to this topic...


Adopt Nation said...

Open adoption is very important to all parties that are involved in the adoption process.

Open adoption is quickly becoming more accepted every day.

Anonymous said...

I posted to the US Infant blog I do for AdoptionBlogs.com. It will be here tomorrow:


Valerie said...

This was more difficult than I expected. Mine can be found:


Andi-bo-bandi said...

Well, it took a week to get this out. But here it is!

The birth father.

Jess said...


I'm late, too, but better late than never??

hotairfilter@sbcglobal.net said...

I'm late too! I'll try harder next time, I swear ;)


Lassie said...

Sorry for my tardiness!
Here is my link:


M de P said...

Here's mine! Thanks, again, Heather, for getting us writing!!


Andi-bo-bandi said...

Oh, Heather! I don't feel obligated. It just makes me consider things that I may not like to think about. ;) It is GOOD for the soul. If I found that I didn't want to write about a topic, I wouldn't.

Thanks for the catalyst.

Heather said...

This round has ended, but you can see the collection of posts and add a link to your own response over at the Open Adoption Bloggers blog at Open Adoption Support.

Thank you to everyone who participated!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...