Ms B called to wish T a happy Father's Day yesterday. He wasn't home, so she and I chatted for a bit. Things were great until I asked how her day had been and she started with, "Well, it's my birthday." Then there was that horrible awkward moment when I realized we hadn't so much as sent her a card.
Triad Member of the Year, right here.
4 comments:
Glad to hear I'm not the only member of the Hello, My Name is So-and-so and I Always Forget Friends' Birthdays Club. I wanna kick my own butt on a regular basis. And then I get so paranoid that I phone people to wish them a happy birthday and it's a day early. Like today. I thought it was my father-in-law's birthday, so I phoned him and then argued with him when he said it's only tomorrow. Grrr. I'm so bad with birthdays.
I'm sure it was Okay... what did she say after that? The trick with these relationships is that they should be just like any other family member, and sometimes you just forget. Don't feel that you have to hold yourself to a higher standard just because there is adoption invovled.
Thanks, Andy. It was fine, she wasn't trying to make me feel guilty or anything. I said something like, "Oh my gosh, how did I miss that? Happy birthday!' and she said that she probably had never told me the date. But as soon as she mentioned it, I remembered a whole conversation we'd had in which we'd talked about her birthday being close to my mom's and having to share it with Father's Day. So I really did just forget.
I'd feel just as bad if it were another family member; my relationship with Ms B is just still so fresh and new that I felt like a bit of a heel.
R is really good at calling on birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, etc. I am terrible at remembering birthdays. With my other family I feel bad, but I know they know I love them. With R, I feel like I better make a special effort because there are not that many ways to connect with her so I should be taking advantage of the opportunity to let her know that we're thinking about her.
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