Today Puppy overheard T talking with Ms B on the phone and so just had to call his birth mom, too. He told K about the egg hunt at church this morning and she told him she loved him, then he went about the rest of his day.
Sometimes I come across parents who are willing to send letters and pictures to their kids' first parents from the start, but want to hold off on direct contact until their child is "old enough" to understand the relationship. Sometimes that means 6 or 7 years old, sometimes 4 or so. They argue that contact before then wouldn't mean anything--the child isn't old enough to even remember. Why bother?
I've struggled to understand this line of thinking, because when I see something like Puppy phoning K, I see the building blocks of a real relationship. He won't remember this conversation twenty years from now. He probably won't even remember it a month from now. But in a few years when those long-term memories start to form, he will be drawing on these early years. He'll have the head start of familiarity. And at the most basic level he'll already know that his first parents are part of the constellation of people who make up his family. Why pass that up?