Comments on Production, Not Reproduction | A blog about open adoption and home of Open Adoption Bloggers: Building Blocks

Thanks for this... since we are just starting out ...

2008-03-31T11:40:00.000-07:00

Thanks for this... since we are just starting out our open relationship, we have a lot of nay-sayers in the family. Stories like this make me realize that we are making the right decision for our girl :)

You are so right. I don't get those people either...

2008-03-29T05:37:00.000-07:00

You are so right. I don't get those people either.

I have always been a part of my daughter's family so now that she is old enough to remember and understand some of it, she doesn't also need to wonder about this new person in her life. I know when she gets sad, her parents pull out photos of our visits to show her that I was here. Plus, the extended family had those early years to develop he sense that we are all family while my daughter was still really little.

I'm so glad you are getting these good relationships.

I totally agree. And wish we had that- my son is a...

2008-03-24T07:55:00.000-07:00

I totally agree. And wish we had that- my son is at the age where he definitely could understand (3) but its less concrete because there's less contact. I'm jealous.

Again, you have managed to get me all teary eyed w...

2008-03-23T21:57:00.000-07:00

Again, you have managed to get me all teary eyed with your beauty!

Yes! The foundation blocks are SO important...I a...

2008-03-23T18:34:00.000-07:00

Yes! The foundation blocks are SO important...I agree 10000% and have happily met with Lil Princess' parents monthly since she was born 7 months ago.

Yes... How would it be easier or better for the c...

2008-03-23T18:18:00.000-07:00

Yes... How would it be easier or better for the child to form a relationship with first parents when he's six or seven? Then why not 10 or 12? Or 18? The familiarity and basic background of "these are people who care about me" is a great start to a true relationship.

That's so silly to think that the contact doesn't matter before the child will remember it. It doesn't make any sense.

This line of thinking has long been one of my bigg...

2008-03-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

This line of thinking has long been one of my biggest frustrations with OA...the whole, let a child decide mentality.

You don't let your child decide what to eat, when to go to bed, whether or not they'll go to school, but we're going to put THIS decision in thier hands?

OR, we could do as you've done. Include birthparents as part of the childs life and it will be something that's THERE. Like school, healthy food, and a decent bedtime. As long as birthparents are a good influence I don't see any valid arguement against it...

Thanks as always for being a voice of reason and a model for such awesome behaviors!

Yep. Better keep them away from grandparents
2008-03-23T09:16:00.000-07:00
Yep. Better keep them away from grandparents too, huh? Don't want to confuse the little darlings with too much love and support. I mean, if they know that lots of people love them, and some of them are some sort of "parent" they won't really get attached to the REAL parents, will they?

Sorry, my snarky side is in high drive today.

It's just insecurity. Parents afraid that the children won't love them as much.