February 19, 2008

We're Home

And she is with us. Sleeping on my chest while I type. We arrived home yesterday evening. Leaving with the baby wasn't any easier this second time.

Yesterday morning Ms B looked at me over her baby's wee head and said through tears, "I never knew you could love someone so much." If only those who dismiss all first parents' emotions could have been flies on the wall. She has some good people standing with her during this difficult transition, but I know she would appreciate your prayers.

I have been so grateful for your comments and simply for the knowledge that you are marking this event with us. There is comfort in sharing this time with people who I know understand that adoption is about ands: this emotion and that one and this other one. The happiness and sadness do not diminish one another, but exist alongside.

Last night at the dinner table I looked at the wee girl in my lap and at the two-year old boy who has brought such joy to our lives, and I marveled that we have the chance to do this all over again. Her first name is derived from the Latin for "light" and she brightens up any room she is in. She is our little Firefly.

More substantive thoughts and pictures (which I know are what you're really after) coming soon.

26 comments:

Ariella said...

I know Ms B is in a world of pain that most can't even imagine. I will hope and pray that her pain subsides and that she gets the help she needs to overcome her feelings of grief.

Congrats on the little girl. One of each must be so sweet.

Kathy's Korner said...

I've been lurking on your blog for some time now. Really appreciating your thoughts and your respect for adoption. This phrase in this particular post really struck me. It really hits the preverbial nail on the head for me.

"The happiness and sadness do not diminish one another, but exist alongside."

It just explains things perfectly as you can in one sentence.

Welcome to the world little firefly!

Dawn said...

Much love to you and ALL of your family, including Ms. B. She remains in my prayers as do you all! And of course, can't wait for pictures!

Thankgsivingmom said...

Recently it's been really hard for me to be genuinely excited about placements. I've just become so jaded by agencies and by stories of coercion that still happens, and by those that refuse to see it.

HOWEVER, you've handled yourself and the situation with such tact and respect for Mrs. B, for your (now) shared child, and for the process, that yours is a placement that I am truly happy to see. Congratulations to you all and best of luck as you embark on this journey all over again!

And yes, of course we're all waiting for thie pictures!

Mindy said...

Still praying for all of you.

Can't wait to see her pictures. And I am dying to know how Puppy feels about her!

Now I'm off to search for baby names/etymologies so I can figure out what little Firefly's name is! *grin*

Hugs,
Min

mayhem said...

My best wishes, as always, to all of you!

Tammy said...

((((((Heather and Family, including Ms. B)))))))))))... I am so thankful that little Firefly is here safe and sound. I pray for Ms. B and what she must be feeling, and for you, as you navigate caring for her as your family and your daughter, especially in the early weeks.

The two alongside...joy and sorrow... it is truly the "bittersweet" of adoption. It should not be diminished but reconciled. I fear too many new mothers through adoption (both first mothers and adopting mothers) have a hard time acknowledging all of these feelings to each other in the beginning. I know it is that way with the other mothers of my kids.

As always, I am here if you need to talk. Many prayers for all of you...

Tammy said...

PS - I considered Firefly for the nickname for Si, as his name means "fire of the Lord".

Your little one has a beautiful name!

Judy said...

You are a good, empathetic mom, and yes, adoption is about "ands." Many mixed emotions, hearts rejoicing and hearts breaking, and it is only in acknowledging our children's other parents' pain that we can truly be the best parents for our children.

Still, congratulations to you for expanding your family. And absolutely, prayers for Ms. B.

Corey~living and loving said...

I have tears of joy for you....and prayers for Ms. B. I can only imagine the strength it takes to choose a different life for your child.

AmericanFamily said...

Congratulations on the newest member of your family! I will keep MsB in my thoughts.

Clementine said...

Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Blessings and blessings upon baby Firefly and new big brother Puppy!

Gretchen aka mamagigi said...

I'm thinking of ALL of you ... and photos? Heck yeah. :)

GLouise said...

Ah, yes, that happiness and sadness do co-exist.

Beautiful post.

And yes, I would LOVE to see pictures somehow! I am sure she is beautiful!

Roni said...

I have been thinking of you and Ms B for sometime.
I'd like to second what Thanksgiving mom said.
I find myself so happy for you, and so sad for Ms B. Adoption is a rollercoaster of emotions no matter which way you look at it.
I find you to be one of the most ethical people in the adoption world and I applaud you. Knowing what I know of you makes me feel this adoption is very ethical and Ms B was not persuaded in anyway. Making this a beautiful situation.
Though Ms B is going through the pain it's comforting to know she has you caring for her child and I'm sure you will be there for her as well.
(I have problems commenting on our blog from my computer. Just found out my son's computer has "no problems!" So, you may hear from me more! :) )

Shawn & Lisa said...

Congratulations :)

You're all in my prayers too...

Kim said...

Congratulations. I too will never forget the look on our son's first mother's face the day she sent him home with us. I was both heartbroken and ecstatic. Enjoy your sweet new baby. Your posts are giving me baby fever!!!

The Town Criers said...

Congratulations to your whole family and many good thoughts to Ms. B.

Angi said...

Just wanted to stop by and say Congratulations on your new bundle of joy! I am a new adoptive mom myself. Can't wait see pictures!!

Maria said...

Congratulations on your little Firefly!!

I read the post you linked and it surprised me that I had never thought about domestic adoption like that before. It really opened my eyes to the many complexities of emotions felt on both sides of the adoption. Thank you.

D said...

Oh Heather... this post brought tears to my eyes. So many, many emotions in an experience like this. It's impossible to even put it all into words. I didn't like hearing "congratulations" a few weeks ago when I knew my daughter's other mom was in so much pain. It didn't feel "congratulatory," you know? So I'll just say that I am happy you are enjoying such a sweet baby girl and that I can't wait to see pictures! Many hugs!

FiestyKel said...

What a beautiful post, congratulations on your precious arrival.

Lori said...

"...adoption is about ands: this emotion and that one and this other one. The happiness and sadness do not diminish one another, but exist alongside."

This is so beautifully put.

My thoughts and emotions are with you, Ms B and Firefly as you are now forever joined.

Coco said...

Congrats to you and your family, and to Mama B, on the new arrival of Firefly.

Thank you so much for acknowledging Mama B's loss among your joy, though of course, I knew you would, all along.

Kiss her and love her and enjoy every minute, too. Know that as I hurt for M B, I feel joy with you.

AJS said...

Congratulations! I totally understand the mix of emotions you are experiencing right now. I look forward to seeing pics of your precious "firefly"

JJandFive said...

Congratulations, Heather : )

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