It's a Blogging Cliche, but I Can't Help Myself

I had my first awesome Google search hit:

infertility "self-pity" bitter

I was the third result that day. Which is a bit surprising since there are some wonderfully insightful, funny, popular--and, yes, sometimes self-pityingly bitter--infertility blogs out there. I'm afraid mine is none of those things.

In California, the medical reference form for adoption asks if the petitioner is infertile. (It's under the heading "Ability to have own child." Oh, silly adoption forms. Always giving me the warm fuzzies.) That lead to this conversation with my general practitioner:

Doctor: Do you want me to say you're infertile?

Me: I get a choice?

Doctor: We diagnose infertility after one year of unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant.

Me: But...

Doctor: [blink]

Me: ... I can't try ... (Hello, you're my DOCTOR. We've been
through this before.)

Doctor: [blink, blink]

Me: So I'm fertile until proven otherwise?

Doctor: Basically.

Me: Nice. Let's go with fertile.

Doctor: [check]

Me: Do I get a choice on my weight?

And that the story of how I got official documentation of my fertility, despite never having birthed a child nor given any indication that I could do so.

So, dear searcher, I'm sorry Google let you down. It didn't even find you an actual infertile, much less a bitter one. I've got a note from my doctor and everything. Better luck next time!