March 21, 2012

Bigger Still

Part one

It started with an email.

The agency we used for Mari's adoption was working with two local expectant parents who were considering adoption.  Because of some of the significant challenges in this couple's life, none of the families in the agency's pool were comfortable being shown to them. So the agency was taking the unusual (for them) step of reaching out to some of its old clients to see if they could gather some potential adoptive parents for them to consider.

I read the message right as I was heading out the door for a run, expecting to brush it off. Instead it stopped me in my tracks. Something about it felt...familiar, almost.

I chalked up the feeling to having not read the email closely enough. Surely there was some factor I'd missed that would make it absurd for us to even consider. But all through my run it wouldn't leave my mind. Once home, I thrust my iPod into Todd's hands, the email opened on the tiny screen. "Just read this," I said, with no preamble. "Then tell me what you think."

A few minutes later he looked up at me. "I think this is exactly why we do adoption," he said quietly.

That evening I wrote back to the social worker. "We're interested in talking to you more," I told her. Even with that noncommital wording I hesitated for a long time before clicking "send". We're just not the sort of people for whom things happen out of the blue. It must be foolish to think we might possibly meet this couple's needs, be part of this child's life.

The next day, hidden in a back bedroom of a friend's home while playgroup burbled through the rest of the house, I listened to the social worker tell me more about the expectant parents and the heartbreaking, frustrating circumstances into which their baby was being born. The challenges were big and any open adoption relationship would need a lot of support to be healthy. I understood, on some level, why it had felt like too much for those waiting parents already in the agency's pool. But, still, it felt familiar to me. Not scary. In many ways, it paralleled aspects of our family's existing adoptions. These were challenges we knew (or thought we knew).

Because of those parallels, the social worker thought we and the expectant parents would be a good fit for each other. If we agreed, we could quickly write up a new introduction letter that she'd give to the couple, along with our old profile materials they had on file from Mari's adoption. But we needed to move quickly and we needed to be sure--the couple had already selected one set of prospective adoptive parents only to have them become overwhelmed and decide they couldn't continue. She did not want to put them through that again.

This time I didn't hesitate.

Part three

20 comments:

Lisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lisa said...

What an experience! I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the story. It sounds very much like they needed exactly the kind of couple/family that you are to be introduced to their lives.

harriet glynn said...

You are the perfect people! Watch out, you may not be able to stop! So happy for you!

Meg Weber Jeske said...

Can't wait to read more too.

Kelly said...

Anxiously awaiting more! And congratulations on new baby!

Monika said...

Wow. I've got chills. Can't wait to read the rest of the story!

infertilitylicks said...

Oh wow.... like an awesome WOW. I'm on pins and needles waiting for the rest of the story!

Heather said...

Oh, we've stopped!

Kristin said...

What??!! Another cliff hanger??!! You are too cruel.

Sending you and your (bigger??) family lots of good thoughts.

pajamamommas said...

Wow, that's so exciting! I wondered, after the way you left the previous post. Can't wait to hear more!

Alissabeth said...

waiting for more with bated breath!!

My name is Andy. said...

WOW!!!! That's all I've got for now!

Geochick said...

Oh, my, this sounds life changing...

cynthia said...

wow. wow. wow.
thinking of you, and wanting to know what happen(ed) next..
xo

Robyn C said...

Anxiously awaiting the next installment...

Meg Coldwells said...

AND.............................???????? I am dying here...is this happening right now?

todd said...

It only gets...bigger?

justletgotracy said...

WOW!!! Way to leave us hanging hehe.. can't wait to hear the rest of this story!!!

mama2roo said...

Goodness,I haven't been keeping up with ANYTHING, and read this just now! Can't wait to hear more. Praying that all is well with your family and any new additions that may be with you or on their way... <3

Brenna @ Almost All The Truth said...

Oh wow, I can't wait to hear what comes next!

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