July 07, 2011

Open Adoption Roundtable #27

The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It's designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don't need to be listed at Open Adoption Bloggers to participate or even be in a traditional open adoption. If you're thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table. The prompts are meant to be starting points--please feel free to adapt or expand on them.

Write a response at your blog--linking back here so your readers can browse other participating blogs--and link to your post in the comments here. Using a previously published post is fine; I'd appreciate it if you'd add a link back to the roundtable. If you don't blog, you can always leave your thoughts directly in the comments.

I'm still thinking quite a bit about memories and the different ways we preserve them for the generations following us. I thought we'd try a memory-oriented prompt for this round. Feel free to interpret "first meeting" and make a connection to your adoption experience however you'd like.

Write about a first meeting.


The responses, so far:

M de P (adoptive mom) @ Reservado Para Futura Mama on meeting her daughter's first mother.

Kelly (adoptive mom) @ From empty womb to overflowing heart on seeing her daughter for the first time--in a Starbucks.

KatjaMichelle (first mom) @ Therapy Is Expensive talks about the phone call with a prospective adoptive mother that lasted for hours.

Spyderkl (adoptive mom) @ Evil Mommy on her "amazing and terrifying" first meeting with her daughter.

Michelle (prospective adoptive mom) @ Michelle & Amber's Open Adoption Blog describes the intense emotions before their first face-to-face meeting with expectant parents considering adoption.

Amy (prospective adoptive mom) @ Jim and Amy Hoping to Adopt on their first meeting with their adoption agency.

Luna (adoptive mom) @ Life From Here shares about the powerful meeting with her daughter's first mom.

Cindy (first mom) shares in the comments about the small gesture of kindness she remembers from her first meeting with her son's adoptive parents.

Barb (first mom) @ Sideshow Barb looks back at herself on the day she met her son's adoptive parents.

Jenna (first mom) @ The Chronicles of Munchkinland on the moment before everything changed.

AmFam (adoptive mom) @ American Family on meeting her daughter's family in China.

Harriet Glynn (adoptive mom) @ See Theo Run remembers the intensity of the day they met their son.

Sheeps Eating Me (adoptive mom) on their first days with their son and the excellent bit of advice they received about open adoption.

Racilous (first mom) @ Adoption In the City on the shifts that occurred at the first meeting with her son's adoptive parents after placement.

Cat (adoptive mom) @ Cat's Litterbox on meeting with her son's extended first family after what  had been an emotional interaction for her.

Lia (first mom) @ Lia--Not Juno on the very first minutes with her son.

Susiebook (first mom) @ Endure for the Night on the first post-placement visit with her son and his adoptive moms.

Ashley (first mom) in a guest post @ Bumber's Bumblings about her first meeting with the couple she would ultimately choose to be her son's adoptive parents.

Meghann (adoptive mom) @ Everyday Miracles on seeing her daughter together with her birth mom and her baby brother for the first time.

Anotherversionofmother (first mom) @ Another Version of Mother recalls the first meeting with the social worker who would play an integral part in her son's adoption.


M de P said...

Haven't blogged in a year, but here goes... !


Kelly said...

This is my first roundtable and a fun one to write!


KatjaMichelle said...

Here's mine: http://therapyisexpensive.wordpress.com/2011/07/07/open-adoption-roundtable-27-10-summers-ago/

Anonymous said...

Mine's up here. http://spyderkl.wordpress.com/2011/07/08/open-adoption-bloggers-roundtable-27-the-first-time/

Michelle said...

Submitting a blog for the roundtable for the first time...about a first time. Our match meeting.


Little Blessings said...

This is my first time submitting to the roundtable as well:) Since my husband and I are still waiting to be matched, I wrote about our first meeting with our agency. Here is the link: http://www.jimandamyhopingtoadopt.blogspot.com

luna said...

love all the first timers!

here's my entry:

so where's yours?

Cindy said...

I gotta tell you in comment form about the 'first meeting'.
It was actually really laid-back.
I had been bugging the agency to set up a meeting for a little more than a week at the time.
When I did go in (with first father) it was just like another counseling session (I'd had about a dozen with this very nice SW).
Both of us talked with the SW first and she was telling us that yes, the couple was in the other room, down the hall, but I didn't have to meet them if I didn't feel ready... bla-bla-bla..
Whatever! I wanted to meet them!! First father was a little more hesitating about it, but followed my lead. I rarely hesitate about things I feel strongly about, obviously.
I was nervous, but my solution for weird feelings about anything is just to do it, just get it DONE and then I know I will feel better!
I will always remember seeing the adoptive mom just a-wringing her hands under the table (I could see this from the door) and the adoptive dad literally sitting on the edge of his seat.
Now, the only awkward part was actually the SW. I mean, she was very good, but she kind of had a 'script' written for us and kind of interrupted annoyingly when it was unnecessary.
Other than that, it was really like talking to close friends, people that I could imagine as part of my church, if not my family.
I honestly think they were more nervous than I was.
The main 'feeling' I remember actually, during the meeting, about an hour into our talking, my back was cramping something fierce but I didn't want to interrupt the mood or complain.
Also, a freak snow storm started up out of nowhere and the adoptive couple actually drove me home that day. I remember the silliest thing really drove home the fact that these were the people I wanted to be my sons parents.
It was something the adoptive dad said when he stopped at my house, he wanted to walk me to the door! At the time, I thought this was ridiculous, why would someone get out of their car in snow storm to make sure I walked the ten feet to the door??
Literally noone I know had ever offered to 'walk me to the door' after driving me home. Of course I said no, but felt bad about it.
And later, it came to me, I dreamt that moment years ago. I believe I am a little psychic and that God shows me little bits of my life in advance, to help me (call me crazy, but that's just me!).
Also, I thought later that the adoptive dad must be the first real gentleman I had ever personally encounter at that point.
Just a small gesture of kindness and it really made a impact on me, so crazy huh?

barb said...



Jenna said...

Mmm, this was a nice exercise for me. Nothing is now what it was then, but I enjoyed writing.

My post about our first meeting at Chronicles.

American Family said...

I don't know if I have participated before or not, but I just put up a post for this one.


harriet glynn said...

The Day We Met: http://seetheorun.com/2009/11/05/the-day-we-met/

BumbersBumblings said...

What a great topic! I'm so excited to contribute this time. Our son's birthmom is actually going to guest blog on my blog and write about our first meeting together. Should be really awesome!

Anonymous said...

Since I had already written about our match meeting another time, I wrote about our first meeting after placement - http://racilous.wordpress.com/2011/07/12/oar-27-the-first-meeting/

Cat's Litterbox said...

Here's mine!!! http://catsfilibuster.blogspot.com/2011/07/open-adoption-roundtable-27.html

Anonymous said...

mine's up!

Heather said...

I'm off on vacation 'til Friday, but please keep the posts coming! Feel free to leave your links here and I'll push them up to the post on Friday.

If you want to make your link clickable here in the comments, use this code, replacing the italicized bits:

<a href="

Thanks, everyone!

Anonymous said...

I went up this morning: OART 27

BumbersBumblings said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BumbersBumblings said...

I couldn't get the link thing to work.

Okay, here's my blog post, with a guest posting from our son's birthmom.

BumbersBumblings said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BumbersBumblings said...

seriously, have issues with codes. ha ha:

meghann said...

Here's mine!

Anonymous said...

I answered this too! Thanks!

Monika said...

I'm REALLY late with my addition, but here goes: First Meeting

Enjoy! :-)

Anonymous said...

So many first meetings! Meetings with birth parents and babies and other bio-relatives. This post that is taken from my book, Everything In Its Own Time, tells a piece of the story of our first adoption -- meeting our first child.

MommySquared said...

We were away when this roundtable came up ... this brought back so many memories .... here it is

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