October 20, 2008

Worth Reading

I'm slowly making my way this week out of a haze of painkillers and, well, pain (I had shingles! Which I didn't even think was possible until you were elderly! And it was horrible!). So deep thoughts (and linear thinking in general) will have to wait.

In the meantime, I wanted to mention a book that coincidentally has come up half a dozen times online and in daily life in the past few weeks. Making Room in Our Hearts by Micky Duxbury is currently one of my go-to recommendations for anyone looking for a primer on open adoption.

Some of my favorite things about it:
  • The author interviewed lots and lots of folks living out open adoption, including whole triad groups. Because it was written recently, she was able to include stories from open adoptions which are now decades old. I don't know about you, but I eat that stuff up.
  • It is very practical and grounded. Duxbury is realistic about the limits of open adoption, but ultimately quite optimistic about its possibilities.
  • It is much better at including voices of first parents (fathers, too) and adoptees than some of the other popular open adoption books.
  • She is adamant about people needing adequate pre- and post-adoption support, which I think is so crucial and so often overlooked. Knowing what kinds of services we deserve enables us to speak up for ourselves.
Duxbury is totally on my list of people I want to hear speak in person someday about adoption.

I loaned my copy of Making Room in Our Hearts out last year and, sadly, it never returned to me. Isn't there an expression about only gifting books, never loaning them?


Dawn said...

She was at ACC last year -- I wish you could have come. Her session was good and she's also very nice. She reminds me of my old therapist -- very East Coast! You should email her -- she's very accessible and friendly. You could interview her for an Open Adoption Support article!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the head's up on the book.

Hope you get to feeling back to normal soon!

Jamie said...

Hi ~ I've been lurking here... :)
I liked this book too and it's actually the book that I purchased several copies of for our family members to read as an introduction into adoption in today's world. :)
If I get any copies back (i purchased 5 through a used book store) I'll send you one! :)

luna said...

as you know I love that book to. by far it was the best I read, for the reasons you state. I was thinking of buying a copy for my mom. I'd love to hear her speak too.

Anonymous said...

I'll look forward to reading this book; so glad some new books are available.

I know that shingles is awful - glad you're on the mend!

Anonymous said...

I'm definitely gonna have to check out the book, sounds very interesting. Hope you're feeling better soon.

and...I’ve chosen you to join in a blogger buddy recipe exchange! Check out my blog to find out more about it!

Guera! said...

I had shingles when I was 35 and I was made fun of for having an "old person's disease". Vicodin and Valtrex saved me. I never experienced anything like it! Hope you are feeling better!

Anonymous said...

@jamie - How nice are you? Thank you! I agree that it's a great book to introduce family members to OA.

@portraitsinsepia - Ah, yes, the vicodin saved me, too. Everything still hurt, but my brain didn't care.

Anonymous said...

Shingles! Oh, you poor thing! My dad had them about ten years ago (also not elderly) and was in so much pain! We thought he was dying! I hope you recover soon!

Rachel said...

It's a great book. I'm reading it a lot lately. I keep jumping around. It's reassuring to see things work out and to know it's okay to set boundaries and how to set them.

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