October 09, 2008

I Hereby Declare This a Lurker Safe Zone

A blog I read runs a regular feature called Lurker Thursday. It's her time to acknowledge all the folks who regularly visit and read her blog without commenting.

I appreciate everyone who reads here more than you know. You are always welcome, even if you never ever say a word. I certainly lurk on far more blogs than I comment on. (My rss reader is at 321 subscriptions right now--eep!) This how internet-shy I am: the first time I ever worked up the nerve to leave a blog comment, my heart was actually racing. Yes, I'm a dolt.

I don't see the need to do this weekly, but I thought it would be fun to roll out the red carpet for the lurkers at least once. Please take a second to leave a comment on this post, even if it's just to say, "Hi!" If you want to say a little about yourself, that's awesome, too. I'm looking forward to meeting you!

65 comments:

Especially Heather said...

Big Wave ;)
-H

AmericanFamily said...

I'm a lurker! I usually read via RSS feeds so I rarely comment, but I am here nevertheless.

a Tonggu Momma said...

I think I've commented a couple of times. I have, haven't I? I know we've exchanged e-mails. Anyways, consider this my lurker or nearly-a-lurker wave hello.

Rachel said...

Don't know if I'm a lurker, but I am definitely here.

Yondalla said...

de-lurking to wave!

Ungrateful Little Bastard said...

Waving here too. I spent too much time in google reader with the rss feeds and not enough time visiting.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I'm here. Regularly. Mom of 2 adopted, beautiful kids.

My name is Andy. said...

Great idea!

Hi from Halifax!

Angela Mellema said...

I've been a lurker for a while :) I really appreciate your perspective and honesty. Thanks for the warm welcome to your blog!

Desi said...

I think I've commented once or twice, but you are on my Google Reader so I read every post.

I love your blog and I love your point of view on adoption. Even if I don't comment often I will definitely be sticking around!

Heather.PNR said...

Squee! So many people whose blogs I totally read!

Hi, everyone!

Tammy said...

Hey Heather!!! I'm always here though I'm not commenting (or even blogging) as much as I'd like... life just happens that way sometimes I guess. Even though I don't write it down here there are many times especially when reading about your adoption experiences, I'm either crying with you or nodding my head in agreement. Thanks for sharing your story!

Tara said...

Hello from a lurker in Massachusetts!

mayhem said...

Am I a lurker? I comment every once in a while. In my head I pretty much comment on all your posts with things like, "Yes, she's totally right. Exactly... Gee, her kids are cute." I don't often have much to add, but I really appreciate your writing. Thanks for sharing your experience and your family here.

ak_sapphire said...

hello, i think i may have commented a few times...not sure. anyway, i subscribe to your feed...so lurker i must be!

Milenka said...

Another lurker here! I don't even recall how I ended up here anymore, but I doubt I've ever left a comment. I'm now the boring mom of 3 kids under the age of 2 after 6 years of Infertility, twins, a surprise pregnancy, and a micropreemie NICU baby.

Ariella said...

Not a lurker since I comment but wanted to join the crowd and say HI!

Lori said...

I'm not a lurker but I am a proud reader who is so impressed with the depth of thought and feeling that goes into your writing.

Lavonne said...

Okay, you caught me lurking once again:) Why is it that I feel slightly called out?!

Thanks for your thoughtful and insightful posts, I've been learning lots!

SJ said...

Hey girl! I read thru Google Reader too often so I don't comment much :)

Natalie said...

I just recently found your blog. I mostly lurk on most of the blogs I read, but I think I have posted a comment once when I first found your blog to say "hi!" as a fellow adoptive mom.
Natalie

heather.pnr said...

Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!

@lavonne - No calling out at all! We lurkers are awesome. We make the internet go 'round.

Daisy said...

yesterday's post just....wow. It totally got to me. I wanted to leave a message, but I don't even know what to say except THANK YOU.

I leave your blog for last (like dessert!) when I read my Google Reader!

Juliette said...

I have commented only once or twice. So just hi to say I am still here and glad to read you!

The Rotten Correspondent said...

Great idea! I've been here for quite a while.

motherissues said...

The very first comment I left was at your blog and I was terrified because you wouldn't know who I was and I thought you'd think I was ridiculous or something. I now think I was wrong!

Between comment threads like this one and the "following" thing on Blogger, it's neat to see how interconnected so many of the blogs I read are.

Jordanna said...

Over the last two days I've read your blog from start to finish...stalkerish I know. I have laughed and cried and been unproductive at work and it was all worth it.

I just wanted to take a moment to say Thank You.

Thank you for sharing your story, for not making everything sunshine and roses when it comes to open adoption, but sharing the moments that are. Mostly thank you for letting me know that everything might turn out okay.

Warm wishes,

Jordanna

Kim said...

Hello. I discovered your blog a week or two ago. I love your honesty. I am not really a commenter, more of a reader... but since you asked I thought I would say hi. I am mom to a beautiful 2yo boy whom we adopted from Kazakhstan.

heather a said...

I rarely comment, but I love your blog. Your piece about watching your son sleep really hit home for me. Thank you for sharing. It's nice to know there are other mom's out there who have the same feelings. We have two amazing kiddos who came to us through and open adoption with OAFS about 5 1/2 years ago. We feel very blessed.

Keep the faith . . .

Mama Bear said...

hey! I read and relate to a lot of what you write---- thanks for your blog!

GLouise said...

Hi! I don't think I have commented in a while, but I read all the time.

rredhead said...

Halo!
I think I've commented a couple times. I found you through LiveJournal awhile ago. When I figured out how to subscribe to feeds in LJ, I added your blog. I read all the time, but rarely comment. Thanks!

Angela said...

Hi Heather...I'm here! I don't usually comment on any of the blogs that I read...guess I'm more of a reader than writer (although I did ask once for the password to see the pictures of your beautiful children :) I love reading your blog...as an adoptive mom, I learn something valuable from you everytime I read here :)

~M~ said...

Hi! I found you through a link on Wishing for My Miracle. I've got you set on my Google Reader.

marymurtz said...

I'm just getting started reading you; thanks for stopping by my blog!

susan said...

Another delurker (and adoptive mother) waving hi!

Smiling said...

YOur on my google reader too.. although I haven't yet found time to go back to read all your earlier posts.

Frenchie said...

Hi!
Love your blog. Love your insight.

--Mom through domestic open adoption to one awesome son...

kaarina said...

hi! i'm finally de-lurking... thanks for your blog. for being balanced & open. we're stalled in the paperwork process because this is so much bigger then we thought at first. so much to absorb & process.

in your recent post "come on over" at the end you talked about reasons people don't adopt. "...The second is that they have taken an honest look at some of the unique realities of adoption--whether ethical or emotional--and feel that they are not up to taking them on. Today I say to those people, "Dude, I so get it.""

these ethical & emotional reasons are what we're grappling with right now. i know in the long run we will figure out how to navigate all this, and we will move forward. i know we will. but like i said... so much bigger than i could have known.

thanks again.

Cline Family said...

hi, i'm natalie, and i'm a blog stalker.

just found your blog today, but already addicted. will be back!

Andrea said...

Hi, Heather:
You just posted a comment on my blog, and I was so grateful. As a fellow (sister?) lurker, I thought I'd comment here. I, too, am pretty shy on the internet.
Anyway, after I replied to your comment on my blog, I saw that you have a blog and surfed over here, only to find that I've been here before!! So I guess that means we've been lurking on each others' blogs simultaneously. And here I thought that blogging was supposed to be a shortcut to creating connections. Ah well, better late than never. Off to post a link to your blog on mine.
Best,
andrea

G I N A L O U said...

Hi, I'm Gina. I follow your blog, but I don't think I've commented before. :)

daydreamymama said...

Hi, new lurker here. I am at the moment considering adopting domestically, have been reading about transracial adoption and wondering about it all. Just read a book of interviews done with adult transracial adoptees (title something like "In their own voices"), which was fascinating in part because the answers were so varied. Anyway, I appreciate your blog very much.

Heather said...

I really enjoy your blog. I am a birthmother and it means a lot to me to read "hear" the love in your posts about your children. My adoption was closed and really wished it could have been different. Thank you for sharing what you have experienced. I also have an 18 month old and laugh and laugh at some of the things you post because the same things happen at our house.

lulu said...

I've been lurking too.....I'm a birthmother and am enjoying 'a view from the other side'. In short - you rock. I'm finding strength in your posts.

Jen said...

Hi! Thanks so much for your thoughtful perspective on open adoption. I'm the bio mom of a 5-month-old and my partner and I are pondering the possibility of adoption to add a second child to our family. It wouldn't happen for a while, but it's helpful to start thinking about the plusses and minuses of it.

Bethany said...

I just stumbled upon your page today. I'm still exploring it, but have already added it to my blog list. My husband and I are in the adoption process... still waiting for "The Call", so no baby yet. Great blog so far!!

andy said...

I am an adoptive mom waiting for a second placement. I hate leaving comments on friends sites but I do lurk. So hellooooo!!

Janet said...

I am a future lurker- just found your site today. I am an adoptive mother in a private (no agency involvement)/open adoption. My relationship with my daughter's first mother is not what I'd like it to be, but I go at her pace. I am looking forward to reading through some of your archives later and to making a new friend. :)

twoisafamily said...

Total lurker. :)

Hi!

Donna said...

Hi, I've been lurking for a couple of weeks, read through your archives because that's what I do when I find a blog that makes me think and laugh. I've really enjoyed reading your stories and I appreciate how you are navigating the complexities and joys and challenges of open adoption. My husband and I are in that place where we could get a call about a prospective match any day. We are hoping for an open adoption and in prep reading as much as we can from people who have been down this road. Thanks so much for sharing your stories here, and for starting up the open adoption forum.

Thanks,
Donna

Mike and Tammy said...

Hi, I just found your blog and I love it. We are hopeful adoptive parents, just being officially approved on September 2nd. Would you please add us to your blog roll? http://oureternalcircle.blogspot.com

Thanks!

Tammy

Polly said...

I comment every now and then, but mostly I lurk. I've been lurking for a while, but just barely noticed this. My husband and I have adopted two kids (4 1/2 yrs and 2 yrs) and then we managed to get pregnant and have an almost 7 month old. Our adoptions are both very open...at least as open as they can be when their birth parents live out-of-state. Love reading.

mrs. r said...

intrigued by your site.

i am an adoption blogger too, an adoptive mom in an open adoption.

love to learn more about how to navigate your site.

loving it so far. holla!

Michal Ann said...

Just found your comment to JustMe and I took a quick peek to see who such a nice lady might be.

Great writing, great heart...and I love to read recipes occasionally! :) Can't say I ever MAKE many but...

Thanks again for caring about JustMe. We "met" through that fake "Baby" April Rose + adoption scammer woman Beccah Beushausen. Meeting JustMe is a VERY GOOD thing that came from a very BAD thing.

Bless you,

Michal

(no blog, immichal AT yahoo.)

Annie said...

I didn't want to respond to your most recent post, because I think the comments section is specifically for people participating in your roundtable, and I am not.

So the de-lurky post it is!

Usually when I read a blog (particularly if it is something more personal - 'interesting notes on vocab' is less personal than 'my mummy blog!') I try to delurk if I keep on coming back to it - and then I try to keep commenting to show I am there. The problem with this is that I am pretty awkward and often reading about subjects I actually know little about. That means learning on the internet - yay! But also I have nothing of relevance to say - boo!

I am (eventually) planning on doing foster care in my country (Australia), but this basically never leads to adoption because anything other than step-parent adoption basically doesn't happen here anymore. The only way I would ever actually enter into the equivalence of an open or closed adoption would be if I moved to another country I am a citizen of (UK), where such things are done - and I don't think that's likely.

So basically I have nothing to add! But I find your blog interesting and you can basically assume I am still lurking around, even though I will probably never comment on the posts.

ohgodsorryforthenovel

Anonymous said...

I lurk regularly and as for the hair, well, I must comment.

Yes, yes...what about the HAIR? I think it is so (sadly) simple--people are just afraid of something different. So, many "white" moms are freaked. I can, on the flip side, understand that obviously cared for hair signals pride and all sorts of messages about culture. As a hopeful prospective "white" mom (what a description!) of a brown kid, I really look forward to any and all care and styling of hair. Bt if said kid balks and hates the whole idea, well then, I hope people look at us and see a happy kid with a happy, loving mom...period.

Staci said...

delurking and saying I really enjoyed your post. Mom to two bio kids, waiting for referral for two from Ethiopia. I am trying work through this hair thing. I really really like how you protect her. I appreciate all the insight I can get...

clare said...

hi, love your blog!!!!

Erin said...

Hi! I'm a pretty typical lurker, I love to read, but am bad about commenting! I am new to your blog and have really enjoyed it!

Lorily Roberts said...

I was lurking and found this site. I have two internationally adopted daughters through open adoption. I have witten a book about their adoptons -- Children of Dreams, available on Amazon.

Terri said...

Hi, I just found your site, and I'm learning a lot from it. I'm an adoptive mom to a baby girl who is black. Our adoption is open, but not (right now) all that we hoped.

Rebecca said...

De-lurking. I've been reading for a few months. I've even recommended your site...but not so sure I've commented. We've adopted once internationally and are currently waiting to match domestically.

Claudia said...

I've commented once or twice, but am essentially a lurker. I LOVE this idea. Are we allowed to steal it???

John in the deep end said...

Hello and thank you!

I've been reading the Interview Project material, and I really value hearing such different voices talking about how their open adoption experiences have been, procedurally and emotionally.

We're in a sticky foster-to-adopt situation that we want to keep open: the birth parents are fighting to keep their kids, but they like us and are also considering an open adoption agreement. Do you know anyone (or any website) that might speak to anything like that?

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