September 04, 2007


School started today in our town. Last night I listened to rain fall outside an open bedroom window. We woke to a clear, bright day infused with the slightest chill. Perfect weather for ushering in autumn. Soon we will take Puppy apple picking as the leaves turn amber and gold.

Since I entered preschool way back when, not a year has gone by that I've not lived by the academic calendar, either as a student, employee, or teacher's spouse. The rhythms of my life are determined by the school year, making Labor Day my New Year's Eve. January marks the mid-point in the year, not the beginning of a new one. The summer pulls me into self-evaluation and reflection; September sings of possibility and renewal. September is blank notebooks, unused erasers and a general buzz of anticipation. Even as nature draws inward, preparing for a dormant winter, I feel ready to take on something new. (If you ever want to ask a favor of me, autumn is the time to do it.)

So perhaps it was fitting that it was September when our lives first overlapped with Puppy's first parents' and the constellation of our family began to shift. I've been remembering that time as the calendar swings back around: The nervous initial phone call. My first glimpse of K and R in the restaurant lobby. Making plans for a future that was somewhat fuzzy to all of us.

The weather was hot, as it always is this time of year in Los Angeles. K was in her final month of pregnancy. Making conversation one day I said she must be looking forward to finally not being pregnant in this heat. An idle remark. She leveled a look and reminded me that the end of pregnancy meant the end of a lot more for her. No, she was not looking forward to it.

K mentioned she's been replaying events in her mind, too. Much different memories than mine, I am sure. Two years ago in September T and I were guardedly but undeniably excited, planning the beginnings of our family. Two years ago in September K was watching the day approach when she planned to tell her baby goodbye.


Anonymous said...

What an interesting . . . poignant juxtaposition of emotions at that time.

Angela said...

Wow... written so beautifully! Cherish the memories. I love how vividly you described everything here :)

By the way... Yesterday, at a family BBQ... I suddenly said "Mahna Mahna " totally randomly unexpectedly.... My BIL looked at me oddly... And then I snapped out of it and took another bite of my hamburger....


KrazyMom said...

I love how you keep the presence of K and R so close in your heart and thoughts. You truly are a wonderful person. Looking back it is just amazing how the Lord blesses our lives in the most unexpected ways.

Betsy said...

Great post. Very well written.
Thank you.

Anonymous said...

This was very helpful. I'm an adoptive dad and I'm having trouble keeping track of all the different emotions that go on for people. I appreciate your explanation about what goes on for the birth family.

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...