June 11, 2007

Strange Silence

In the weeks approaching Mother's Day, it was impossible to cruise through the online adoption world without coming across a blog post or forum discussion about the holiday. It's a complicated day for first moms, adoptive moms and adopted adults alike. There was a lot for people to sort through and express.

Tonight as I put together our Father's Day gift for Puppy's first dad, I couldn't help but think of the difference. Here it is five days before Father's Day and I've read almost nothing yet about it as it relates to adoption. I know the basic underlying reasons (more women talking about adoption online + fewer men actively involved in the placement/adoption of their child). But still it makes me sad.

If any adoption stereotype has a stronger hold than that of the unstable birth mother, it's the deadbeat birth dad who couldn't care less about his adopted child. It's just not true of all first dads. So visit a first father or two this week and read his story. Pick up a book on the experiences of birth fathers in adoption. Read about the latest study and its recommendations for strengthening men's rights and responsibilities in adoption. Let's remember them this week.

4 comments:

BlessedWithDaughters said...

Good reminder! Our particular b-dads are missing (in one case...not named, in the other...not located), but we ought to think about them more often and remember to keep them an integral part of the life stories of our little ones.

--Mindy

Mandy said...

We wish our daughters bfather was more involved but there are circumstances that keep him from being involved. Even though our daughter does not get to see her bfather we keep the few pictures we have of him around. As you do I also think it's very important for the kids to know both bmother and bfather. Good post!!

abebech said...

This is so true, and something I should have considered (but truthfully didn't). I think of her mother all the time but less so her dad (and I wondered if it'd be different if she were a boy but I think maybe not . . .)

cloudscome said...

I was thinking this too. I'm praying for my son's fathers this week a little extra.

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