Happy new year, my friends!
Now that we've written all the posts that will be written for 2012, I wanted to make sure you knew that the 2012 Best of Open Adoption Blogs submissions are open over at Open Adoption Bloggers. You can submit one post written by someone else and one post written by you (or just one by someone else, if you don't blog or don't want to include yourself on the list).
One of the things that I most like about this list (which started last year) is that it's not judged or voted on. Every submission is included. If a post resonated with you, it is one of the best of the year. There is room to celebrate all of us, both the big bloggers and the small.
The list will be published on Friday, so hurry on over by this Thursday to make your picks. There are loads more details and a link to the submission form over at the Open Adoption Bloggers blog. I'm looking forward to seeing what you include!
Showing posts with label Open Adoption Bloggers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Open Adoption Bloggers. Show all posts
January 01, 2013
April 13, 2012
OAB Happenings This Week
One of the nice things about the new Open Adoption Bloggers blog is the chance to highlight guest bloggers. The first fabulous guest post was by adoptive mom Rachel from White Sugar Brown Sugar, who offered seven tips for respecting online privacy in open adoption. Not everyone agreed with the tips, though--you might want to check out the post and comments and add your own thoughts.
The 36th Open Adoption Roundtable was also posted this week. The prompt was about open adoption agreements and the effects they (or their absence) have had on bloggers' relationships. Some interesting, and varying, responses have come in so far.
The 36th Open Adoption Roundtable was also posted this week. The prompt was about open adoption agreements and the effects they (or their absence) have had on bloggers' relationships. Some interesting, and varying, responses have come in so far.
April 10, 2012
Watch Out for Flying Pigs
The new, stand alone Open Adoption Bloggers site is up and running! I probably shouldn't admit this, but part of me thought it impossible that I would ever actually pull this off.
But it's up! It involved DNS codes and name servers and about 10,000 links that I still need to go through and update. But it is there. Please do go check it out. I sincerely welcome your feedback. If you see anything buggy or confusing, please let me know.
I want to give an enormous public thank you to Racilous from Adoption in the City. She put in a ton of time offering suggestions and helping me see the forest and not just the trees. She even made the header image so that it would match our badges.
The roundtables, "meet the blogger" interviews, and other projects will be posted there now. In fact, the first roundtable is live today, asking folks to write about open adoption agreements. So please visit and subscribe!
But it's up! It involved DNS codes and name servers and about 10,000 links that I still need to go through and update. But it is there. Please do go check it out. I sincerely welcome your feedback. If you see anything buggy or confusing, please let me know.
I want to give an enormous public thank you to Racilous from Adoption in the City. She put in a ton of time offering suggestions and helping me see the forest and not just the trees. She even made the header image so that it would match our badges.
The roundtables, "meet the blogger" interviews, and other projects will be posted there now. In fact, the first roundtable is live today, asking folks to write about open adoption agreements. So please visit and subscribe!
April 05, 2012
My Bloggy Baby
Do you know how excited I am about this?
So stinkin' excited.
Before the actual baby showed up unexpectedly, this was my baby of the moment. The Open Adoption Bloggers projects were feeling a bit squished into my blog and hard to navigate. I'm not a designer of any sort, so the look of it isn't anything to write home about. But look at the menu bar! Such lovely organization. Roundtables, blogroll, interviews, "best of" honorees--all a quick click away. I'm hoping to have it all up and running this weekend (fingers crossed, knock on wood, pinch of salt over the shoulder).
If you have an OAB button or link to the blogroll on your blog, one thing you can do to help is to make sure it links to www.openadoptionbloggers.com and not www.productionnotreproduction.com. The code looks something like this, depending on which button you have:
The other things moving OAB to its own site does is open up lots of opportunities to feature your writing. I have some great guest posts and book reviews lined up, and there is unlimited room for more. If you're interested in contributing to the site, let me know and I'll send you more details.
Wish me luck on getting this rolled out--I am not a techie!
So stinkin' excited.
Before the actual baby showed up unexpectedly, this was my baby of the moment. The Open Adoption Bloggers projects were feeling a bit squished into my blog and hard to navigate. I'm not a designer of any sort, so the look of it isn't anything to write home about. But look at the menu bar! Such lovely organization. Roundtables, blogroll, interviews, "best of" honorees--all a quick click away. I'm hoping to have it all up and running this weekend (fingers crossed, knock on wood, pinch of salt over the shoulder).
If you have an OAB button or link to the blogroll on your blog, one thing you can do to help is to make sure it links to www.openadoptionbloggers.com and not www.productionnotreproduction.com. The code looks something like this, depending on which button you have:
<a href="http://www.openadoptionbloggers.com/" title="Open Adoption Blogs"><img alt="Open Adoption Blogs" border="0" src="http://i305.photobucket.com/albums/nn230/heatherpnr/OA_blogroll_v1GREEN.png" title="Open Adoption Blogs" /></a>The other things moving OAB to its own site does is open up lots of opportunities to feature your writing. I have some great guest posts and book reviews lined up, and there is unlimited room for more. If you're interested in contributing to the site, let me know and I'll send you more details.
Wish me luck on getting this rolled out--I am not a techie!
April 01, 2012
New Open Adoption Bloggers - March 2012
The open adoption bloggers list grows every month and sometimes additions get lost among all the awesomeness. Hopefully these round-ups of the new blogs from the month before will help folks connect.
Here are the blogs added in March:
FIRST PARENTS
From Birthmom to Adoptive Mom: I am a birth mom and an adoptive mom sharing stories from my journey through adoption. I am currently in a very open adoption.
Petitexplosion: A birthmother and birthfather doing open adoption together, living through the process day by day, and trying to devote themselves to each other, before devoting their lives to a baby.
ADOPTIVE PARENTS
Adoptio: Building a Catholic family through open adoption.
Our Adoption Journey...and Life with Kate!: Our journey through domestic infant adoption, and now life with our daughter, Kate! We share the good, the bad, and the ugly (but mostly good)!
MargaretAdopts: The blog explores our adventures as soon-to-be parents to a nine-year-old boy and describes our experiences with the adoption process. We've been committed to the idea of open adoption since the beginning, but now we'll find out what it's like to live out that decision on a day-to-day basis.
PRE-ADOPTIVE PARENTS
No Due Date: We're on a journey to grow our family through adoption. We invite you to share in our journey, and help us in the search to find an expecting mother who is considering adoption.
Susan & Mitch (hope to) adopt: We’re following our dream to become parents by adopting a baby girl or boy through open adoption. Our blog shares adventures, experiences, and thoughts along the way.
Two Mommies Trying to Adopt: I am hoping that this blog will act as a support for my partner and me as we try to navigate the road toward adoption. I will blog about the journey that we are taking and the emotions that occur along the way.
Here are the blogs added in March:
FIRST PARENTS
From Birthmom to Adoptive Mom: I am a birth mom and an adoptive mom sharing stories from my journey through adoption. I am currently in a very open adoption.
Petitexplosion: A birthmother and birthfather doing open adoption together, living through the process day by day, and trying to devote themselves to each other, before devoting their lives to a baby.
ADOPTIVE PARENTS
Adoptio: Building a Catholic family through open adoption.
Our Adoption Journey...and Life with Kate!: Our journey through domestic infant adoption, and now life with our daughter, Kate! We share the good, the bad, and the ugly (but mostly good)!
MargaretAdopts: The blog explores our adventures as soon-to-be parents to a nine-year-old boy and describes our experiences with the adoption process. We've been committed to the idea of open adoption since the beginning, but now we'll find out what it's like to live out that decision on a day-to-day basis.
PRE-ADOPTIVE PARENTS
No Due Date: We're on a journey to grow our family through adoption. We invite you to share in our journey, and help us in the search to find an expecting mother who is considering adoption.
Susan & Mitch (hope to) adopt: We’re following our dream to become parents by adopting a baby girl or boy through open adoption. Our blog shares adventures, experiences, and thoughts along the way.
Two Mommies Trying to Adopt: I am hoping that this blog will act as a support for my partner and me as we try to navigate the road toward adoption. I will blog about the journey that we are taking and the emotions that occur along the way.
March 06, 2012
Meet Harriet of See Theo Run
Our latest interviewee in the open adoption blogger series is Harriet, author of See Theo Run. She describes her blog as her "space to muse and explore the intricacies of our open adoption and life as a mixed race family." I've appreciated the thoughtfulness of Harriet's writing and her ongoing efforts to understand what it means to be an adoptive parent in an open adoption. The photos of her adorable, rambunctious son certainly don't hurt, either! Read on to learn more about Harriet and her blog.
Tell us about yourself and your connection to open adoption.
How much time do you have? Ha ha. My husband Mark and I adopted our son, Theo, now two-and-a-half, at birth in an open adoption. We met his birthparents via an agency two months before he was born and have had an ongoing, in-person relationship ever since. We have met all sides of Theo’s birthfamily right up to grandparents. Our relationship has been both wonderful and emotionally challenging. On the upside, I feel privileged to know Theo’s biological family; I’ve gotten to know them as people as well as learning about their Jamaican heritage. On the downside, adoption has taken all of us to some dark places. Despite this, I would characterize our relationship as authentic and caring. I should add that we are a tri-cultural Canadian family: I’m white, my husband is Filipino, my son is Jamaican, and we live in multicultural Vancouver.
What has been the most unexpected or surprising aspect of open adoption so far?
Tell us about yourself and your connection to open adoption.How much time do you have? Ha ha. My husband Mark and I adopted our son, Theo, now two-and-a-half, at birth in an open adoption. We met his birthparents via an agency two months before he was born and have had an ongoing, in-person relationship ever since. We have met all sides of Theo’s birthfamily right up to grandparents. Our relationship has been both wonderful and emotionally challenging. On the upside, I feel privileged to know Theo’s biological family; I’ve gotten to know them as people as well as learning about their Jamaican heritage. On the downside, adoption has taken all of us to some dark places. Despite this, I would characterize our relationship as authentic and caring. I should add that we are a tri-cultural Canadian family: I’m white, my husband is Filipino, my son is Jamaican, and we live in multicultural Vancouver.
What has been the most unexpected or surprising aspect of open adoption so far?
March 01, 2012
New OAB Blogs - February 2012
The open adoption blogs list grows every month and sometimes additions get lost among all the awesomeness. Hopefully these monthly round-ups of the new blogs from the month will help folks connect.
Here are the blogs added in February:
FIRST PARENTS
Open Adoption4ALL: Before I was a wife and mother, I was a BIRTH MOTHER, first. I have always tried to be open with my story, in the hopes that it might help to generate a more comfortable dialogue about OPEN ADOPTION in every American household. Without the conversation, there can be no understanding.
ADOPTED ADULTS
momonamission
PARENTS WHO USED DONOR GAMETES
Living Our Miracle: By the grace of God, we are living our miracle with the blessing of our son through embryo adoption. We are navigating the complexities of an open donor relationship with divorced donors who are parents to triplets.
ADOPTIVE PARENTS
momonamission
PRE-ADOPTIVE PARENTS
The Ranunculus Adventures: One writer's blog about life - the good, the bad, the awkward. Topics include everything from adoption to pop culture, writing to wedding flowers, recipes to faith, and stories to make you laugh and cry. And maybe pee your pants a little.
Here are the blogs added in February:
FIRST PARENTS
Open Adoption4ALL: Before I was a wife and mother, I was a BIRTH MOTHER, first. I have always tried to be open with my story, in the hopes that it might help to generate a more comfortable dialogue about OPEN ADOPTION in every American household. Without the conversation, there can be no understanding.
ADOPTED ADULTS
momonamission
PARENTS WHO USED DONOR GAMETES
Living Our Miracle: By the grace of God, we are living our miracle with the blessing of our son through embryo adoption. We are navigating the complexities of an open donor relationship with divorced donors who are parents to triplets.
ADOPTIVE PARENTS
momonamission
PRE-ADOPTIVE PARENTS
The Ranunculus Adventures: One writer's blog about life - the good, the bad, the awkward. Topics include everything from adoption to pop culture, writing to wedding flowers, recipes to faith, and stories to make you laugh and cry. And maybe pee your pants a little.
February 01, 2012
New OAB Blogs - January 2012
The open adoption blogs list grows every month and sometimes additions get lost among all the awesomeness. Hopefully these monthly round-ups of the new blogs from the month will help folks connect.
Here are the blogs added in January:
FIRST PARENTS
My Angels From God: The adoption journey of a birth mother in an open adoption who became an adoptive mother in a semi-closed adoption and then a biological mother.
I'm Still A Good Mother; A Birth Mother's Journey Through Open Adoption: Stories of my experiences as a mother in recovery, parenting more children after having older children adopted through foster care, and my amazing relationship with my daughter's adoptive family. Also, the benefits of what we like to call "post-adoption reunification."
EXTENDED FIRST FAMILY
Olive You Forever: I am a mother of a teenage daughter who chose to bless another family with her daughter she named Olive through open adoption. I guess that makes me a Birth Grandma and I am proud to say so!
ADOPTIVE PARENTS
A Journey of Love: Learning to live in an open adoption relationship while navigating life!
My Angels From God: The adoption journey of a birth mother in an open adoption who became an adoptive mother in a semi-closed adoption and then a biological mother.
Mommy Musings: Reflections on all aspects of parenting -- the fun, the frustration, the funny and everything in between, including our adoption journey parenting two children who joined our family through domestic infant adoption.
PRE-ADOPTIVE PARENTS
A Thing Called Hope: Our journey towards open adoption, struggles with infertility and loss, but most of all our hope that our dreams will come true.
Journey to Extend our Family: The chronicle of a young Canadian couple navigating their adoption journey.
An Infertile Blog: Started as an infertility blog but since we stopped trying a few months ago and have started the adoption process, that's mostly what I'll be writing about now.
Here are the blogs added in January:
FIRST PARENTS
My Angels From God: The adoption journey of a birth mother in an open adoption who became an adoptive mother in a semi-closed adoption and then a biological mother.
I'm Still A Good Mother; A Birth Mother's Journey Through Open Adoption: Stories of my experiences as a mother in recovery, parenting more children after having older children adopted through foster care, and my amazing relationship with my daughter's adoptive family. Also, the benefits of what we like to call "post-adoption reunification."
EXTENDED FIRST FAMILY
Olive You Forever: I am a mother of a teenage daughter who chose to bless another family with her daughter she named Olive through open adoption. I guess that makes me a Birth Grandma and I am proud to say so!
ADOPTIVE PARENTS
A Journey of Love: Learning to live in an open adoption relationship while navigating life!
My Angels From God: The adoption journey of a birth mother in an open adoption who became an adoptive mother in a semi-closed adoption and then a biological mother.
Mommy Musings: Reflections on all aspects of parenting -- the fun, the frustration, the funny and everything in between, including our adoption journey parenting two children who joined our family through domestic infant adoption.
PRE-ADOPTIVE PARENTS
A Thing Called Hope: Our journey towards open adoption, struggles with infertility and loss, but most of all our hope that our dreams will come true.
Journey to Extend our Family: The chronicle of a young Canadian couple navigating their adoption journey.
An Infertile Blog: Started as an infertility blog but since we stopped trying a few months ago and have started the adoption process, that's mostly what I'll be writing about now.
January 10, 2012
Best of Open Adoption Blogs 2011
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The Best of Open Adoption Blogs list celebrates the best of online writing about openness in adoption from 2011, as selected by the blogging community. Bloggers could contribute posts they wrote as well as posts written by others. Submissions will be added to the list through January 31, so if your favorite isn't listed, be sure to add it.
The submissions are listed in the order in which they were received--no "best of the best" or rankings here.
Section I: Recognizing Our Own Writing
A modest proposal. I mean, question. by Lia of Lia - Not Juno
Christmas and Adoption by of Mandy W. of FourAgainstTwo
Family is Family by Socialwrkr24/7 of Socialwrkr24/7: Eyes Opened Wider
(my) love bites by Alissa of Not A Visitor
My Sister Lives in Texas by Dana of Life Unexpected
The Fun Side of Waiting by David of Seeking Fatherhood
What I Get to Do by Robyn C of The Chittister Family
I'm Just as Scared of You as You are of Me by Racilous of Adoption in the City
Processing Adoption: Conversation with my son (part 2) by Lori Lavender Luz of Write Mind Open Heart
Not What I Expected-Everything I Ever Wanted by Julie Corby of The Eyes of My Eyes are Opened
Dear Adoptive Parent... by Cynthia Christensen of Wife, Mother, Birth Mother, Author, Homeschooler
It's Not Easy Being Green by Monika of Monika's Musings
Open Adoption Roundtable #30: The First Time by Sheeps Eating Me of Sheeps Eating Me
Bile by Barb Sobel of Sideshow Barb
Are You an Attuned Adoptive Parent? by Rebecca Hawkes of Love Is Not a Pie
Did I Get the Call? by Cindy Rasmussen of Recipe for a Family
What Kind of Mother Gives Up Her Kids by Jenna Hatfield of The Chronicles of Munchkin Land
A Plea for Adoptive Parents by Lindsay Smith of On Loan From Heaven
Open Adoption Roundtable: Write About a First Meeting by Amber of Bumber's Bumblings
Why We're Adopting by Lindsay of Fortunes Full
Adoption Doesn't End by Heather Schade of Production, Not Reproduction
How I (Almost) Shied Away From Openness (And Not Why You Think) by Luna of Life from Here: Musings from the Edge
Birth Mothers by Amber of Life in the Last Frontier
RAD, Trauma, and Attachment by Carol Lozier of In My Child's World
The Things I Didn't Know by Danielle of Another Version of Mother
My Plan A by Whitney of On a Journey to Adopt
Birthmother, J by Tiffany of Finding K: A journal of love through infertility, cancer, and open adoption
Thoughts on Open Adoption by Camille of Embracing the Odyssey
Section II: Recognizing Great Writing by Others
Up the Duff by Susie Book of Endure for a Night
Writes Lia, "This post was insane. I've always loved Susiebook's blog and stumbled onto it when we were roughly the same amount pregnant - me with my first son, who I eventually placed, and her with her second son, who she parented after placing her first 18 months prior. I love her insights into parenting in a complicated situation--missing Cricket, loving Joey, and dealing with a less-than-ideal open adoption relationship. 'Up The Duff' was the announcement of Susie's third pregnancy (second child to be parented) and was just so goddamn INTERESTING. It's like a really well-written TV show, where the main characters know what the 'correct' thing to do is and yet somehow still manage not to do it because it's HARD. (And it IS so very very hard.) Seeing how Susie dealt with disclosing her pregnancy to her family and then to Cricket's adoptive moms was fucking fascinating and relatable, and I spilled my coffee the first time I read this post."
Goodbyes by Jenna Hatfield of The Chronicles of Munchkin Land
Writes Mandy W., "I know this was a hard moment for Jenna, but it shows how amazing an open adoption relationship can be. It can be very difficult, but it is so worthwhile for all involved. I find her to be an inspiration in how hard she works to have a relationship with her first child."
Positive Stuff about Jacket's Mom by Rebecca of Fosterhood NYC
Writes Socialwrkr24/7, "I cheated a bit as this isn't so much a post about Open Adoption--it's kind of the reverse actually. Rebecca was a foster parent to 'Jacket' for 18 months and then she returned home to her mother. Jacket's mom has some pretty serious and difficult limitations--and their relationship was NOT ideal when Jacket was in Rebecca's care. But out of Rebecca's desperation to stay involved in Jacket's life, an amazing (albeit sometimes insane) relationship has formed. Despite much self-doubt and continuous redefining of the boundaries, Rebecca's 'whatever it takes' attitude is something to be admired. Whenever I read her blog, I can't help but wonder and wish that more adoptive parents could open themselves up to what could be possible if they decided to do whatever it takes to keep their child's first parents in their lives. Its not an easy road Rebecca has chosen--but I know she will never regret it."
Oh, the Legality of it All by Thanksgivingmom of I Should Really be Working
Writes Alissa, "I love TG's willingness to call out fear in adoptive parents and the various ways we can be tempted to deal with those fears that are unfair to first parents (and by extension our children). This post is about the double standard in terms of who has legal rights to participation in a child's life and who really matters."
Unpleasant Truths by I Am of Statistically Impossible
Writes Dana, "I Am is the only birth father blog that I have come across and he writes real, raw and from the heart material. I think his perspective is crucial in trying to gain a full picture of open adoption. I think this post has great meaning and I love the question, 'Why do you want to parent?'"
The Potty Jar by Bobby of Those Two Daddies
Writes David, "Really fun, down to earth post that made me laugh and laugh."
The Future of the Adoption Tax Credit by Dawn Davenport of Creating a Family
Writes Robyn C, "It's not sexy or emotional, but the Adoption Tax Credit is not well understood. I like this post because it's informative and useful."
No One Said I *Had* To Search/Reunite by Mei-Ling of Exile of Xingnan
Nominated by AmFam
Love Is Not a Pie by Rebecca Hawkes of Love Is Not a Pie
Writes Racilous, "First, I love reading what Rebecca has to say. I think she her posts are always well thought out, respectful of all in the world of adoption, but they also challenge me to think how I approach adoption. I can honestly say that although I read many blogs of both adoptive parents and adoptees, it's not that common that I find one that I'm always excited to read, yet this blog represents both those parts of the triad and I can't wait when I see a new one in my reader.
When I was looking for a post I found more than one of Rebecca's that I truly enjoyed, but this one in particular I think is an amazing explanation of how openness can work for our kids. I honestly cannot believe it was her first blog post, but what a way to kick off a blog and show your voice to the world."
Why I Do This, Part 3 by Heather Schade of Production, Not Reproduction
Writes Lori Lavender Luz, "Heather explains why she stays up late at night building an open adoption community. 'I don't think any one of us has all the answers. I think precious few among us deserves any "adoption expert" label (I'm certainly not one of them). But all of us put together? We can be a life-changing resource for each other.' I have learned so much from the people in this sector of the blogosphere, and I'm grateful to Heather for getting us together once in awhile around her table."
Love Universal by Rebekah of Give All to Love
Writes Julie Corby, "I always hate when people say, 'All you need is love' in regards to adoption. This post talks about love and adoption in a way that I really responded to."
It Is What You Make Of It by Kelsey Stewart of A Birth Mother Voice
Writes Cynthia Christensen, "I grow consistently frustrated with the anti-adoption, haters world that is predominantly made up of people 'stuck' in their own negative thought patterns. And Kelsey is raw and honest all the time about this."
Adoption Guilt by Harriet Fancott of See Theo Run
Writes Monika, "I just plain loved this post. I love Harriet's writing anyway, and this one was so emotional and thought-provoking (if you read the post and see my comment on it, you can actually see how thought-provoking it was for me. Also, I wrote a post on my own blog inspired by this post and my comment)!"
Open Adoption Roundtable #31 by Rebecca Hawkes of Love Is Not a Pie
Writes Sheeps Eating Me, "Rebecca tackles the question of fear in open adoption by talking about the myth of the hateful birthmother monster--and she includes those who have lost their children to foster care. This is a story that is hardly ever told, but she addresses it clearly from the perspective of adoptive parents' fear in open adoption. This was something I badly needed to read at the time she wrote it, and it's haunted me since."
A Kid-Shaped Hole by Sheeps Eating Me
Writes Barb Sobel, "She understands and has always made an effort to be in contact with the birthparents for the sake of her kids. Because SHE WANTS TO. Because it's important to her. I've read this blogger for 6 years now, through various blogs and I'm so proud of her."
Long rambling post that fell out of my fingers by Tiruba Tuba of Tubaville
Writes Rebecca Hawkes, "I chose this post because it shows that adoptions can be open even when the conditions for openness are less than ideal. I also love the way the author describes her own transformation over the years. And I was touched by the simple beauty (and truth) of the the sentence 'There can never be too many people who love a child.'"
It shouldn't be this way... by Becky Fawcett of An Infertile Blonde
Writes Cindy Rasmussen, "I agree with her wholeheartedly and I am inspired that she is taking action to help other families. Bravo!"
The Only Choice by Danielle of Another Version of Mother
Writes Jenna Hatfield, "Not only is it well-written, but the more we understand about that pre-placement process that birth parents go through... the better."
Open Adoption and the Man Who Makes Mine Bearable by Lisa Anne of Living Through Today
Writes Lindsay Smith, "Lisa's perspective on open adoption has opened my eyes to the ugly side of adoptive parents not upholding their end of their agreement and promises to a birth mom... Lisa is a birth mom and I think this post sheds some light on a birth mom's heart."
Embracing Duality in Adoptive Families by Rebecca Hawkes of Love Is Not a Pie
Writes Amber, "I thought it was a beautiful example of selflessness in adoptive mother. So many times you hear how selfless the First Mom is, but you don't hear that often about Adoptive Parents. I found it inspiring and encouraging for my involvement in open adoption"
Being a Birthmom is Bittersweet by Coley of Living the Bittersweet Life
Writes Maureen Horan Benes, "This post is simple and straight to the heart of the matter. I think about it once in a while, and I can't say that for many blog posts, because I read so many!"
The Bedroom as a Metaphor for the Neglected Inner Sanctuary by Kristen of Rage Against the Minivan
Writes Lindsay, "Because I WISH my side of the bedroom was as clean as hers in the picture..."'
This Is Not An Adoption Blog, and I Am Not an Adoption Specialist by Martha Crawford of What a Shrink Thinks
Writes Heather, "A powerful post about being open, particularly as non-adopted persons, to all that we do not know. Starting from the author's personal experience, it builds to conclusions like these: 'Birth mothers, first mothers, natural mothers, adoptees, adopted persons, adult adoptees, adoptive parents, forever families, adopters – every word becomes an injury, a wounding – language itself becomes impossible and insufficient to describe all of the light and darkness, joys and sorrows, connections and disconnections, contradictions, ambivalence and dissonance. I’ve learned to think of all of the voices in the adoption community, as dissonant as they are, as part of some whole, that I can never grasp.'"
7 Points About the Birth Mom Conversations by Lori Lavender Luz of Write Mind Open Heart
Writes Luna, "Lori's moving series about discussions with her son as he processes his adoption is a rare gem. As always--but particularly with such a sensitive subject--Lori conveys her experience and sage wisdom with insight and compassion. While everyone touched by adoption could benefit from this series, I think it is a must-read for adoptive parents. (I actually love part two best, but that one is already on the list!)"
Courage by Brittany of Que and Brittany's Adoption Journal
Writes Amber, "I love how Brittany writes about the transformation of her heart from aching to be a Mother, to actually being a mother. I also love that having Brie with her at church made that day mean so much more to her. This is what open adoption is about!"
Must Read News Article by Rumor Queen of China Adopt Talk
Writes Carol, "I chose this article because it talks about how important it is for many children to find their birth family. And it gives helpful information for children from China where identifying information is scarce."
Open Adoption Roundtable #31 by Barb Sobel of Sideshow Barb
Writes Danielle, "She presented this idea that was in my head, that I had yet to form into words for one reason or another--the idea that some of my wounds (adoption wise) would always be there. And that I have to figure out there is a good chance that I will never have peace for some of the things that happened. It was a powerful moment for me, brought on by a powerful, yet simple post."
Sometimes by Kayli of Becoming Kayli
Nominated by Whitney
Why I am anti anti-open adoption: a public response to private statements by Lori of Write Mind Open Heart
Writes KatjaMichelle,"When the Best Open Adoption Blogs of 2011 list was announced I couldn't decide on how I'd ever narrow it down to just one. As I was thinking of all the great posts I'd read over the year this post (actually the first of a two parter so I'm kind of cheating but regardless read it then click through) kept returning to my mind. It took me a bit to re-find the post, but I'm glad I did. Go read Lori's words. No seriously go. read. Lori's words."
Talking more about open adoption by Wendy of Our story: A blog about open adoption
Writes Tiffany, "Because I recall wanting to learn more about the open adoption relationship and how it can work."
What Not to Say to a Birthmother by Red of One More Day
Writes Camille, "This was one of the first blogs I stumbled across when I started looking for resources to better understand a birth mother's point of view. I'd thought a lot about the stupid things people said to me as an adoptive mom, and this post helped me realize that birth moms have to deal with similar ignorance on a daily basis. I appreciate her honesty, compassion, and genuinely good advice. :) "
The Best of Open Adoption Blogs list celebrates the best of online writing about openness in adoption from 2011, as selected by the blogging community. Bloggers could contribute posts they wrote as well as posts written by others. Submissions will be added to the list through January 31, so if your favorite isn't listed, be sure to add it.
The submissions are listed in the order in which they were received--no "best of the best" or rankings here.
Section I: Recognizing Our Own Writing
A modest proposal. I mean, question. by Lia of Lia - Not Juno
Christmas and Adoption by of Mandy W. of FourAgainstTwo
Family is Family by Socialwrkr24/7 of Socialwrkr24/7: Eyes Opened Wider
(my) love bites by Alissa of Not A Visitor
My Sister Lives in Texas by Dana of Life Unexpected
The Fun Side of Waiting by David of Seeking Fatherhood
What I Get to Do by Robyn C of The Chittister Family
I'm Just as Scared of You as You are of Me by Racilous of Adoption in the City
Processing Adoption: Conversation with my son (part 2) by Lori Lavender Luz of Write Mind Open Heart
Not What I Expected-Everything I Ever Wanted by Julie Corby of The Eyes of My Eyes are Opened
Dear Adoptive Parent... by Cynthia Christensen of Wife, Mother, Birth Mother, Author, Homeschooler
It's Not Easy Being Green by Monika of Monika's Musings
Open Adoption Roundtable #30: The First Time by Sheeps Eating Me of Sheeps Eating Me
Bile by Barb Sobel of Sideshow Barb
Are You an Attuned Adoptive Parent? by Rebecca Hawkes of Love Is Not a Pie
Did I Get the Call? by Cindy Rasmussen of Recipe for a Family
What Kind of Mother Gives Up Her Kids by Jenna Hatfield of The Chronicles of Munchkin Land
A Plea for Adoptive Parents by Lindsay Smith of On Loan From Heaven
Open Adoption Roundtable: Write About a First Meeting by Amber of Bumber's Bumblings
Why We're Adopting by Lindsay of Fortunes Full
Adoption Doesn't End by Heather Schade of Production, Not Reproduction
How I (Almost) Shied Away From Openness (And Not Why You Think) by Luna of Life from Here: Musings from the Edge
Birth Mothers by Amber of Life in the Last Frontier
RAD, Trauma, and Attachment by Carol Lozier of In My Child's World
The Things I Didn't Know by Danielle of Another Version of Mother
My Plan A by Whitney of On a Journey to Adopt
Birthmother, J by Tiffany of Finding K: A journal of love through infertility, cancer, and open adoption
Thoughts on Open Adoption by Camille of Embracing the Odyssey
Section II: Recognizing Great Writing by Others
Up the Duff by Susie Book of Endure for a Night
Writes Lia, "This post was insane. I've always loved Susiebook's blog and stumbled onto it when we were roughly the same amount pregnant - me with my first son, who I eventually placed, and her with her second son, who she parented after placing her first 18 months prior. I love her insights into parenting in a complicated situation--missing Cricket, loving Joey, and dealing with a less-than-ideal open adoption relationship. 'Up The Duff' was the announcement of Susie's third pregnancy (second child to be parented) and was just so goddamn INTERESTING. It's like a really well-written TV show, where the main characters know what the 'correct' thing to do is and yet somehow still manage not to do it because it's HARD. (And it IS so very very hard.) Seeing how Susie dealt with disclosing her pregnancy to her family and then to Cricket's adoptive moms was fucking fascinating and relatable, and I spilled my coffee the first time I read this post."
Goodbyes by Jenna Hatfield of The Chronicles of Munchkin Land
Writes Mandy W., "I know this was a hard moment for Jenna, but it shows how amazing an open adoption relationship can be. It can be very difficult, but it is so worthwhile for all involved. I find her to be an inspiration in how hard she works to have a relationship with her first child."
Positive Stuff about Jacket's Mom by Rebecca of Fosterhood NYC
Writes Socialwrkr24/7, "I cheated a bit as this isn't so much a post about Open Adoption--it's kind of the reverse actually. Rebecca was a foster parent to 'Jacket' for 18 months and then she returned home to her mother. Jacket's mom has some pretty serious and difficult limitations--and their relationship was NOT ideal when Jacket was in Rebecca's care. But out of Rebecca's desperation to stay involved in Jacket's life, an amazing (albeit sometimes insane) relationship has formed. Despite much self-doubt and continuous redefining of the boundaries, Rebecca's 'whatever it takes' attitude is something to be admired. Whenever I read her blog, I can't help but wonder and wish that more adoptive parents could open themselves up to what could be possible if they decided to do whatever it takes to keep their child's first parents in their lives. Its not an easy road Rebecca has chosen--but I know she will never regret it."
Oh, the Legality of it All by Thanksgivingmom of I Should Really be Working
Writes Alissa, "I love TG's willingness to call out fear in adoptive parents and the various ways we can be tempted to deal with those fears that are unfair to first parents (and by extension our children). This post is about the double standard in terms of who has legal rights to participation in a child's life and who really matters."
Unpleasant Truths by I Am of Statistically Impossible
Writes Dana, "I Am is the only birth father blog that I have come across and he writes real, raw and from the heart material. I think his perspective is crucial in trying to gain a full picture of open adoption. I think this post has great meaning and I love the question, 'Why do you want to parent?'"
The Potty Jar by Bobby of Those Two Daddies
Writes David, "Really fun, down to earth post that made me laugh and laugh."
The Future of the Adoption Tax Credit by Dawn Davenport of Creating a Family
Writes Robyn C, "It's not sexy or emotional, but the Adoption Tax Credit is not well understood. I like this post because it's informative and useful."
No One Said I *Had* To Search/Reunite by Mei-Ling of Exile of Xingnan
Nominated by AmFam
Love Is Not a Pie by Rebecca Hawkes of Love Is Not a Pie
Writes Racilous, "First, I love reading what Rebecca has to say. I think she her posts are always well thought out, respectful of all in the world of adoption, but they also challenge me to think how I approach adoption. I can honestly say that although I read many blogs of both adoptive parents and adoptees, it's not that common that I find one that I'm always excited to read, yet this blog represents both those parts of the triad and I can't wait when I see a new one in my reader.
When I was looking for a post I found more than one of Rebecca's that I truly enjoyed, but this one in particular I think is an amazing explanation of how openness can work for our kids. I honestly cannot believe it was her first blog post, but what a way to kick off a blog and show your voice to the world."
Why I Do This, Part 3 by Heather Schade of Production, Not Reproduction
Writes Lori Lavender Luz, "Heather explains why she stays up late at night building an open adoption community. 'I don't think any one of us has all the answers. I think precious few among us deserves any "adoption expert" label (I'm certainly not one of them). But all of us put together? We can be a life-changing resource for each other.' I have learned so much from the people in this sector of the blogosphere, and I'm grateful to Heather for getting us together once in awhile around her table."
Love Universal by Rebekah of Give All to Love
Writes Julie Corby, "I always hate when people say, 'All you need is love' in regards to adoption. This post talks about love and adoption in a way that I really responded to."
It Is What You Make Of It by Kelsey Stewart of A Birth Mother Voice
Writes Cynthia Christensen, "I grow consistently frustrated with the anti-adoption, haters world that is predominantly made up of people 'stuck' in their own negative thought patterns. And Kelsey is raw and honest all the time about this."
Adoption Guilt by Harriet Fancott of See Theo Run
Writes Monika, "I just plain loved this post. I love Harriet's writing anyway, and this one was so emotional and thought-provoking (if you read the post and see my comment on it, you can actually see how thought-provoking it was for me. Also, I wrote a post on my own blog inspired by this post and my comment)!"
Open Adoption Roundtable #31 by Rebecca Hawkes of Love Is Not a Pie
Writes Sheeps Eating Me, "Rebecca tackles the question of fear in open adoption by talking about the myth of the hateful birthmother monster--and she includes those who have lost their children to foster care. This is a story that is hardly ever told, but she addresses it clearly from the perspective of adoptive parents' fear in open adoption. This was something I badly needed to read at the time she wrote it, and it's haunted me since."
A Kid-Shaped Hole by Sheeps Eating Me
Writes Barb Sobel, "She understands and has always made an effort to be in contact with the birthparents for the sake of her kids. Because SHE WANTS TO. Because it's important to her. I've read this blogger for 6 years now, through various blogs and I'm so proud of her."
Long rambling post that fell out of my fingers by Tiruba Tuba of Tubaville
Writes Rebecca Hawkes, "I chose this post because it shows that adoptions can be open even when the conditions for openness are less than ideal. I also love the way the author describes her own transformation over the years. And I was touched by the simple beauty (and truth) of the the sentence 'There can never be too many people who love a child.'"
It shouldn't be this way... by Becky Fawcett of An Infertile Blonde
Writes Cindy Rasmussen, "I agree with her wholeheartedly and I am inspired that she is taking action to help other families. Bravo!"
The Only Choice by Danielle of Another Version of Mother
Writes Jenna Hatfield, "Not only is it well-written, but the more we understand about that pre-placement process that birth parents go through... the better."
Open Adoption and the Man Who Makes Mine Bearable by Lisa Anne of Living Through Today
Writes Lindsay Smith, "Lisa's perspective on open adoption has opened my eyes to the ugly side of adoptive parents not upholding their end of their agreement and promises to a birth mom... Lisa is a birth mom and I think this post sheds some light on a birth mom's heart."
Embracing Duality in Adoptive Families by Rebecca Hawkes of Love Is Not a Pie
Writes Amber, "I thought it was a beautiful example of selflessness in adoptive mother. So many times you hear how selfless the First Mom is, but you don't hear that often about Adoptive Parents. I found it inspiring and encouraging for my involvement in open adoption"
Being a Birthmom is Bittersweet by Coley of Living the Bittersweet Life
Writes Maureen Horan Benes, "This post is simple and straight to the heart of the matter. I think about it once in a while, and I can't say that for many blog posts, because I read so many!"
The Bedroom as a Metaphor for the Neglected Inner Sanctuary by Kristen of Rage Against the Minivan
Writes Lindsay, "Because I WISH my side of the bedroom was as clean as hers in the picture..."'
This Is Not An Adoption Blog, and I Am Not an Adoption Specialist by Martha Crawford of What a Shrink Thinks
Writes Heather, "A powerful post about being open, particularly as non-adopted persons, to all that we do not know. Starting from the author's personal experience, it builds to conclusions like these: 'Birth mothers, first mothers, natural mothers, adoptees, adopted persons, adult adoptees, adoptive parents, forever families, adopters – every word becomes an injury, a wounding – language itself becomes impossible and insufficient to describe all of the light and darkness, joys and sorrows, connections and disconnections, contradictions, ambivalence and dissonance. I’ve learned to think of all of the voices in the adoption community, as dissonant as they are, as part of some whole, that I can never grasp.'"
7 Points About the Birth Mom Conversations by Lori Lavender Luz of Write Mind Open Heart
Writes Luna, "Lori's moving series about discussions with her son as he processes his adoption is a rare gem. As always--but particularly with such a sensitive subject--Lori conveys her experience and sage wisdom with insight and compassion. While everyone touched by adoption could benefit from this series, I think it is a must-read for adoptive parents. (I actually love part two best, but that one is already on the list!)"
Courage by Brittany of Que and Brittany's Adoption Journal
Writes Amber, "I love how Brittany writes about the transformation of her heart from aching to be a Mother, to actually being a mother. I also love that having Brie with her at church made that day mean so much more to her. This is what open adoption is about!"
Must Read News Article by Rumor Queen of China Adopt Talk
Writes Carol, "I chose this article because it talks about how important it is for many children to find their birth family. And it gives helpful information for children from China where identifying information is scarce."
Open Adoption Roundtable #31 by Barb Sobel of Sideshow Barb
Writes Danielle, "She presented this idea that was in my head, that I had yet to form into words for one reason or another--the idea that some of my wounds (adoption wise) would always be there. And that I have to figure out there is a good chance that I will never have peace for some of the things that happened. It was a powerful moment for me, brought on by a powerful, yet simple post."
Sometimes by Kayli of Becoming Kayli
Nominated by Whitney
Why I am anti anti-open adoption: a public response to private statements by Lori of Write Mind Open Heart
Writes KatjaMichelle,"When the Best Open Adoption Blogs of 2011 list was announced I couldn't decide on how I'd ever narrow it down to just one. As I was thinking of all the great posts I'd read over the year this post (actually the first of a two parter so I'm kind of cheating but regardless read it then click through) kept returning to my mind. It took me a bit to re-find the post, but I'm glad I did. Go read Lori's words. No seriously go. read. Lori's words."
Talking more about open adoption by Wendy of Our story: A blog about open adoption
Writes Tiffany, "Because I recall wanting to learn more about the open adoption relationship and how it can work."
What Not to Say to a Birthmother by Red of One More Day
Writes Camille, "This was one of the first blogs I stumbled across when I started looking for resources to better understand a birth mother's point of view. I'd thought a lot about the stupid things people said to me as an adoptive mom, and this post helped me realize that birth moms have to deal with similar ignorance on a daily basis. I appreciate her honesty, compassion, and genuinely good advice. :) "
January 08, 2012
Opportunities
Best of Open Adoption Blogs
The Best of Open Adoption Blogs 2011 arrives on Tuesday! Hooray! There are thirty-some posts on the list so far and not a single one has been nominated twice. I think that diversity is such a testament to the strength of our loose online community and the resource we are to each other.
The initial deadline was yesterday, but I'll try to squeeze in as many as I can that come in before Tuesday. And, don't forget, I'll still add submissions through the end of January even after the list is posted. So keep them coming! What did you read about open adoption in 2011 that made you pause or nod or cry or laugh?
If you're feeling shy about putting something you've written on the list, remember that you can honor someone else's post without submitting a post of your own (that goes for non-bloggers, too). But I'd also encourage you to take the risk of adding your own post. If you blog because you think you have ideas worth sharing, then this is a chance to share them beyond your site's core readers. If you blog to connect with others, then this is a potential chance to connect with someone you don't yet know. Everyone has said something worth celebrating--and that includes you.
Adoption Reading Challenge
Jenna is organizing the Adoption Reading Challenge again in 2012. I participated last year and signed up again this year. You don't need to blog or review books online or anything like that. Just commit yourself to reading 3, 6, 12 or 20 books about adoption (half fiction, half non-fiction). It was a great way to push myself to go outside my usual non-fiction, domestic adoption reads last year. There's a Goodreads group, too, where we can swap recommendations and reviews. Come join us!
The Best of Open Adoption Blogs 2011 arrives on Tuesday! Hooray! There are thirty-some posts on the list so far and not a single one has been nominated twice. I think that diversity is such a testament to the strength of our loose online community and the resource we are to each other.
The initial deadline was yesterday, but I'll try to squeeze in as many as I can that come in before Tuesday. And, don't forget, I'll still add submissions through the end of January even after the list is posted. So keep them coming! What did you read about open adoption in 2011 that made you pause or nod or cry or laugh?
If you're feeling shy about putting something you've written on the list, remember that you can honor someone else's post without submitting a post of your own (that goes for non-bloggers, too). But I'd also encourage you to take the risk of adding your own post. If you blog because you think you have ideas worth sharing, then this is a chance to share them beyond your site's core readers. If you blog to connect with others, then this is a potential chance to connect with someone you don't yet know. Everyone has said something worth celebrating--and that includes you.
Adoption Reading Challenge
Jenna is organizing the Adoption Reading Challenge again in 2012. I participated last year and signed up again this year. You don't need to blog or review books online or anything like that. Just commit yourself to reading 3, 6, 12 or 20 books about adoption (half fiction, half non-fiction). It was a great way to push myself to go outside my usual non-fiction, domestic adoption reads last year. There's a Goodreads group, too, where we can swap recommendations and reviews. Come join us!
January 01, 2012
New OAB Blogs - December 2011
The open adoption blogs list grows every month and sometimes additions get lost among all the awesomeness. Hopefully these monthly round-ups of the new blogs from the month will help folks connect.
Here are the blogs added in December:
ADULT ADOPTEES
Stretched: One family's story of foster care and adoption
FIRST PARENTS
Idiot girls life post adoption: I am a birthmother just trying to find a way to continue life after losing the one that matters most in this world to me. Not all posts are about adoption but they are all true stories based on my life as I try to move forward.
ADOPTIVE PARENTS
Karen's Adoption Journey: My adoption journey with T, who was adopted internationally, and whose first family we retain a relationship with as best one can from 7,000 miles away -- made even more difficult when there is no postal system in his country and no electricity in his extremely remote village which is not accessible by car and no one in his family is literate -- and other stuff along the way.
Stretched: One family's story of foster care and adoption
A Concrete Way of Love: Matt, Mikki, Mary, and Luke. Matt and Mikki married in 2005, and are the proud adoptive parents of Mary, our precious girl, and Luke, a beautiful little boy born with Prader-Willi Syndrome. This blog chronicles our lives and adventures as a "forever family".
PRE-ADOPTIVE PARENTS
Our New Normal: Our journey through preeclampsia, pregnancy loss and domestic adoption
Seriously?!: My journey through RPL to Domestic Adoption. Currently 'waiting' for that call.
Jake & Stephanie: Jake and I have been together for over 5 years and are hoping for the miracle of adoption. This blog is to get to know the real us and to communicate with you as we help each other along on this amazing journey.
Roztime: Inclusive fostering to open adoption (currently in the fostering stage), of 3 kids aged 2-8.
Here are the blogs added in December:
ADULT ADOPTEES
Stretched: One family's story of foster care and adoption
FIRST PARENTS
Idiot girls life post adoption: I am a birthmother just trying to find a way to continue life after losing the one that matters most in this world to me. Not all posts are about adoption but they are all true stories based on my life as I try to move forward.
ADOPTIVE PARENTS
Karen's Adoption Journey: My adoption journey with T, who was adopted internationally, and whose first family we retain a relationship with as best one can from 7,000 miles away -- made even more difficult when there is no postal system in his country and no electricity in his extremely remote village which is not accessible by car and no one in his family is literate -- and other stuff along the way.
Stretched: One family's story of foster care and adoption
A Concrete Way of Love: Matt, Mikki, Mary, and Luke. Matt and Mikki married in 2005, and are the proud adoptive parents of Mary, our precious girl, and Luke, a beautiful little boy born with Prader-Willi Syndrome. This blog chronicles our lives and adventures as a "forever family".
PRE-ADOPTIVE PARENTS
Our New Normal: Our journey through preeclampsia, pregnancy loss and domestic adoption
Seriously?!: My journey through RPL to Domestic Adoption. Currently 'waiting' for that call.
Jake & Stephanie: Jake and I have been together for over 5 years and are hoping for the miracle of adoption. This blog is to get to know the real us and to communicate with you as we help each other along on this amazing journey.
Roztime: Inclusive fostering to open adoption (currently in the fostering stage), of 3 kids aged 2-8.
December 27, 2011
Announcing Best of Open Adoption Blogs 2011
The last week of December is always a little quiet on the internet. Folks take time off to catch their breath after the holidays. Sites publish all sorts of "best of" lists for everything from movies to toys. Bloggers look back over the year and sum up a year's worth of writing. Over at Stirrup Queens, Melissa Ford even puts together a "Creme de la Creme" list of infertility bloggers' favorite posts from the year (watch for it on January 1).
I thought it could be fun to work together on a "best of" compilation for open adoption writing for 2011. Put our minds together to collect our most powerful, intriguing, moving, thought-provoking, or just plain well-written pieces about open adoption from the year in one place.
So, without further ado, I announce the (hopefully) first annual Best of Open Adoption Blogs list for 2011!
This is a spread-the-love exercise. In order to submit one of your own posts from 2011 (don't be shy--every blogger has something worth submitting), you need to also nominate a post written by someone else. Most of us are here online because we've been affected by others' writing. This is a chance to pat another writer on the back and tell them how much we appreciate them sharing their lives and thoughts with us. If you don't blog yourself, that's fine. You can still submit something written by someone else.
Use the online form to make your submissions. The list will go up in two weeks, on January 10. I'll continue to add submissions through January 31; in order to have your items included on January 10, be sure to submit them by January 7.
Now, to anticipate some questions:
How do I submit items?
Just fill out the submission form. Feel free to contact me with any questions.
What are the deadlines?
The list will go live on January 10. Anything submitted by January 7 will be included when the list is published on January 10. The form will stay open through January 31 and I'll add items as they come in. So, in short: January 7 is the initial deadline, January 31 is the final deadline.
How many pieces can I submit?
Just one written by you and one written by someone else from 2011. I know it's hard to pick just one piece out of the entire year, but give it your best shot. What this year moved you, got you thinking, or simply floored you with lovely writing?
I don't have a blog or I don't want to submit one of my own posts. Can I still nominate someone else's writing?
Of course! Just enter "N/A" on the form wherever it asks for information about your blog.
Can I submit one of my own posts without nominating someone else?
Sorry, no. We're celebrating our own excellent writing and spreading the love to others. This is an opportunity to point others to writers they may not have discovered yet.
I'd like to nominate an essay about open adoption that I read on the New York Times website. Is that okay?
Sure! It can be any sort of online writing: something written for a magazine, newspaper, commercial website, or someone's personal blog. It just needs to be (a) available to link to in full online, (b) about open adoption in some way, and (c) originally published between January 1 and December 31, 2011.
Is the list judged or will everyone be included?
This is a come one, come all affair--the more the merrier. No voting or panel of judges. I reserve the right to not include an item if I suspect someone isn't honoring the spirit of the project, but I really doubt I'll need to do that.
So look back through those archives for the year and pick out your favorite posts--one written by you and one written by someone else. No matter how big or small the list turns out to be this year, I'm excited to see what wonderful-ness is on it.
I thought it could be fun to work together on a "best of" compilation for open adoption writing for 2011. Put our minds together to collect our most powerful, intriguing, moving, thought-provoking, or just plain well-written pieces about open adoption from the year in one place.
So, without further ado, I announce the (hopefully) first annual Best of Open Adoption Blogs list for 2011!
This is a spread-the-love exercise. In order to submit one of your own posts from 2011 (don't be shy--every blogger has something worth submitting), you need to also nominate a post written by someone else. Most of us are here online because we've been affected by others' writing. This is a chance to pat another writer on the back and tell them how much we appreciate them sharing their lives and thoughts with us. If you don't blog yourself, that's fine. You can still submit something written by someone else.
Use the online form to make your submissions. The list will go up in two weeks, on January 10. I'll continue to add submissions through January 31; in order to have your items included on January 10, be sure to submit them by January 7.
Now, to anticipate some questions:
How do I submit items?
Just fill out the submission form. Feel free to contact me with any questions.
What are the deadlines?
The list will go live on January 10. Anything submitted by January 7 will be included when the list is published on January 10. The form will stay open through January 31 and I'll add items as they come in. So, in short: January 7 is the initial deadline, January 31 is the final deadline.
How many pieces can I submit?
Just one written by you and one written by someone else from 2011. I know it's hard to pick just one piece out of the entire year, but give it your best shot. What this year moved you, got you thinking, or simply floored you with lovely writing?
I don't have a blog or I don't want to submit one of my own posts. Can I still nominate someone else's writing?
Of course! Just enter "N/A" on the form wherever it asks for information about your blog.
Can I submit one of my own posts without nominating someone else?
Sorry, no. We're celebrating our own excellent writing and spreading the love to others. This is an opportunity to point others to writers they may not have discovered yet.
I'd like to nominate an essay about open adoption that I read on the New York Times website. Is that okay?
Sure! It can be any sort of online writing: something written for a magazine, newspaper, commercial website, or someone's personal blog. It just needs to be (a) available to link to in full online, (b) about open adoption in some way, and (c) originally published between January 1 and December 31, 2011.
Is the list judged or will everyone be included?
This is a come one, come all affair--the more the merrier. No voting or panel of judges. I reserve the right to not include an item if I suspect someone isn't honoring the spirit of the project, but I really doubt I'll need to do that.
So look back through those archives for the year and pick out your favorite posts--one written by you and one written by someone else. No matter how big or small the list turns out to be this year, I'm excited to see what wonderful-ness is on it.
November 30, 2011
New OAB Blogs - November 2011
The open adoption blogs list grows every month and sometimes additions get lost among all the awesomeness. Hopefully these monthly round-ups of the new blogs from the month will help folks connect.
Here are the blogs added in November:
FIRST PARENTS
Living Through Today: Some days are good days. And some days you just have to live through. This is my journey through life as a birthmother.
Emotions of Adoption: This blog is for me to express how I feel and my thoughts of being a blind birth mother. Questions and comments are welcome.
ADOPTIVE PARENTS
Mandy Gets a (simple) Life: I am an adoptive mommy of 2, both from open adoptions.
Our Journey to New Heits: We are learning the art of parenting (God’s way), coupled with mastering the dance of open adoption. It’s exciting. It’s exhausting. It’s frustrating. It’s fulfilling. It’s real. It’s raw. It’s as God designed for our family. And it’s all right here.
Momosapien: Musings about my life as one of two white adoptive parents to a biracial daughter through transracial, domestic, open adoption. Documenting the life and times of this queer family.
Elizabethtown: I write about life with a biological son and an adoptive daughter--from dealing with poop to learning how to respond to folks who stare at our multi-ethnic family. I'm an adoption and orphan care advocate and really like comfortable shoes.
A Tale of These Four: We are parents to two of the most beautiful children through adoption. Both are open adoptions.
JessieJingles: Adoptive Mom shares happenings in our household. We have an open adoption with our eldest child's birth family. We are navigating our way into that relationship and life as a family.
Start Spreading the News...: We are so excited and ready to adopt a little bundle of joy, and are anxiously awaiting to witness our sweet little guys face to finally hold his baby brother or sister!
The Whine and Cheese Life: Reflections on parenthood, adoption and life with a preschooler.
Dearest Jessica: A blog about a family growing together though adoption from the foster care system. We cover regular parenting issues, attachment challenges, special needs children and the fun of everyday life!
One Urban Nest: The ongoing life chronicles of one queer family cohabiting in an urban nest. This family of five is led by two matriarchs, Gus and Otto. Our house is shared by three kidlets: an older sibling pair we adopted through a public, domestic adoption, and a wee baby conceived and born at home.
Finding K - A journey of love through infertility, cancer and open adoption: I am a 30-something woman living in SoCal who has faced infertility and ovarian cancer which eventually exposed me to the amazing world of open adoption. This is my personal story of faith and strength that led me to my newborn daughter, K, and the angelic birth parents who united our family.
Our Unconventional Oven: Follow us on our journey through open private adoption and foster care adoption.
PRE-ADOPTIVE PARENTS
Fearlessly Infertile: We're a military family that is pursuing domestic infant adoption. We're homestudy approved and less than a month away from going active with our agency.
Fortunes Full: My name is Lindsay and I'm a mom to two year old W, a wife and a mom-in-waiting to an open, domestic adoption. We're waiting to be chosen by a birth mother and documenting the process and emotions involved.
Ellen + Shelley's Adoption Adventure: Hi! You know that old adage "Opposites Attract"? Well, we are pretty much living proof of that. But despite our differences, we share many common beliefs and goals, one of which is our desire to grow our family through open adoption. So this is our story; a little bit nerdy, a little bit witty, probably a little bit angsty, but always full of love...
Happy Adoption Story: We are a happy, fun-loving family of 3 hoping to soon be a family of 4! I am writing this blog to document our adoption journey from the very beginning, and also to get the word out about our adoption plans.
Seeking Fatherhood: Two wanna-be dads' eye-opening, maddening, thrilling adventures in the foster care/adoption system in California.
Just Let Go: This blog chronicles our journey from recurrent pregnancy loss to domestic infant adoption. I rant, I rave, some people think I'm funny ;)
Here are the blogs added in November:
FIRST PARENTS
Living Through Today: Some days are good days. And some days you just have to live through. This is my journey through life as a birthmother.
Emotions of Adoption: This blog is for me to express how I feel and my thoughts of being a blind birth mother. Questions and comments are welcome.
ADOPTIVE PARENTS
Mandy Gets a (simple) Life: I am an adoptive mommy of 2, both from open adoptions.
Our Journey to New Heits: We are learning the art of parenting (God’s way), coupled with mastering the dance of open adoption. It’s exciting. It’s exhausting. It’s frustrating. It’s fulfilling. It’s real. It’s raw. It’s as God designed for our family. And it’s all right here.
Momosapien: Musings about my life as one of two white adoptive parents to a biracial daughter through transracial, domestic, open adoption. Documenting the life and times of this queer family.
Elizabethtown: I write about life with a biological son and an adoptive daughter--from dealing with poop to learning how to respond to folks who stare at our multi-ethnic family. I'm an adoption and orphan care advocate and really like comfortable shoes.
A Tale of These Four: We are parents to two of the most beautiful children through adoption. Both are open adoptions.
JessieJingles: Adoptive Mom shares happenings in our household. We have an open adoption with our eldest child's birth family. We are navigating our way into that relationship and life as a family.
Start Spreading the News...: We are so excited and ready to adopt a little bundle of joy, and are anxiously awaiting to witness our sweet little guys face to finally hold his baby brother or sister!
The Whine and Cheese Life: Reflections on parenthood, adoption and life with a preschooler.
Dearest Jessica: A blog about a family growing together though adoption from the foster care system. We cover regular parenting issues, attachment challenges, special needs children and the fun of everyday life!
One Urban Nest: The ongoing life chronicles of one queer family cohabiting in an urban nest. This family of five is led by two matriarchs, Gus and Otto. Our house is shared by three kidlets: an older sibling pair we adopted through a public, domestic adoption, and a wee baby conceived and born at home.
Finding K - A journey of love through infertility, cancer and open adoption: I am a 30-something woman living in SoCal who has faced infertility and ovarian cancer which eventually exposed me to the amazing world of open adoption. This is my personal story of faith and strength that led me to my newborn daughter, K, and the angelic birth parents who united our family.
Our Unconventional Oven: Follow us on our journey through open private adoption and foster care adoption.
PRE-ADOPTIVE PARENTS
Fearlessly Infertile: We're a military family that is pursuing domestic infant adoption. We're homestudy approved and less than a month away from going active with our agency.
Fortunes Full: My name is Lindsay and I'm a mom to two year old W, a wife and a mom-in-waiting to an open, domestic adoption. We're waiting to be chosen by a birth mother and documenting the process and emotions involved.
Ellen + Shelley's Adoption Adventure: Hi! You know that old adage "Opposites Attract"? Well, we are pretty much living proof of that. But despite our differences, we share many common beliefs and goals, one of which is our desire to grow our family through open adoption. So this is our story; a little bit nerdy, a little bit witty, probably a little bit angsty, but always full of love...
Happy Adoption Story: We are a happy, fun-loving family of 3 hoping to soon be a family of 4! I am writing this blog to document our adoption journey from the very beginning, and also to get the word out about our adoption plans.
Seeking Fatherhood: Two wanna-be dads' eye-opening, maddening, thrilling adventures in the foster care/adoption system in California.
Just Let Go: This blog chronicles our journey from recurrent pregnancy loss to domestic infant adoption. I rant, I rave, some people think I'm funny ;)
November 02, 2011
New OAB Blogs - October 2011
The open adoption blogs list grows every month and sometimes additions get lost among all the awesomeness. Hopefully these monthly round-ups of the new blogs from the month before will help folks connect.
Here are the blogs added in October:
Here are the blogs added in October:
October 27, 2011
Meet AmFam of American Family: Part II
Today is the second part of our interview with AmFam, who writes about her experience entering into an open adoption with her youngest daughter's first family in China (among many other topics) at American Family. You can read part one here.
She is answering readers' questions about her family's open adoption every day in November and has officially given folks permission to ask things they are afraid might be too rude or personal. So if anything from this interview has you wondering, ask away.
She is answering readers' questions about her family's open adoption every day in November and has officially given folks permission to ask things they are afraid might be too rude or personal. So if anything from this interview has you wondering, ask away.
October 26, 2011
Meet AmFam of American Family: International Open Adoption
This latest interview from the Open Adoption Bloggers list is a real treat for me. AmFam's blog, American Family, has been a favorite of mine for years. She writes the way I wish I did: intelligently, sarcastically (one of my favorites: Emergency Code Whitey), and with a willingness to speak her mind on all sort of topics (see above). She and her family are now breaking new ground in international adoption, having successfully searched for and connected with their adopted daughter's first family in China.
I'll be publishing her interview over two days. Read on for the first installment...
I'll be publishing her interview over two days. Read on for the first installment...
October 03, 2011
New OAB Blogs - September 2011
The open adoption blogs list grows every month and sometimes additions get lost among all the awesomeness. Hopefully these monthly round-ups of the new blogs from the month before will help folks connect.
Here are the blogs added in September:
FIRST PARENTS
life, love, lanie - Reflections of a birthmother (as of May 2011) in her 20s as her open adoption journey unfolds.
One More Day - A Birth Mother's Story of Open Adoption
ADOPTED ADULTS
Which Way Is Home - Born in the womb; raised by the streets. Jail to college. The Not So Secret Life of an Adoptee.
ADOPTIVE PARENTS
Even Miracles Take Time: Journaling as an adoptive mama in an open adoption....my perfectly imperfect family <3
Throwaway Pancake - Musings about the balancing act of life as a 40-something working mom and wife with two itty-bitty adopted kids, a sick fascination with half-marathon medals, that last 10 pounds to lose, writing a screenplay, and shoes.
PRE-ADOPTIVE PARENTS
LivingLifeOutLoud - Domestic Open Adoption
The Days of Our Lives - Living in the Emerald City, loving Jesus, and on the road to growing our family through Domestic Infant Adoption.
Here are the blogs added in September:
FIRST PARENTS
life, love, lanie - Reflections of a birthmother (as of May 2011) in her 20s as her open adoption journey unfolds.
One More Day - A Birth Mother's Story of Open Adoption
ADOPTED ADULTS
Which Way Is Home - Born in the womb; raised by the streets. Jail to college. The Not So Secret Life of an Adoptee.
ADOPTIVE PARENTS
Even Miracles Take Time: Journaling as an adoptive mama in an open adoption....my perfectly imperfect family <3
Throwaway Pancake - Musings about the balancing act of life as a 40-something working mom and wife with two itty-bitty adopted kids, a sick fascination with half-marathon medals, that last 10 pounds to lose, writing a screenplay, and shoes.
PRE-ADOPTIVE PARENTS
LivingLifeOutLoud - Domestic Open Adoption
The Days of Our Lives - Living in the Emerald City, loving Jesus, and on the road to growing our family through Domestic Infant Adoption.
July 13, 2011
Meet Barb of Sideshow Barb
Our fifth interviewee in the open adoption blogger series is Barb, otherwise known as Sideshow Barb. Another member of our blogging community suggested I interview Barb and I thought it was a fabulous idea--if there's a writer you'd like to get to know better, please drop me a line!
Some of you may know Barb from her shuttered adoption blog, Cigarettes & Coffee. She recently resurrected many of her Cigarettes & Coffee posts at Sideshow Barb. I've long appreciated the powerful honesty of Barb's writing on topics from adoption to secondary infertility to mental illness. As well as the occasional hilarious swipe at her cat. Read on to learn more about Barb and her blog.
Some of you may know Barb from her shuttered adoption blog, Cigarettes & Coffee. She recently resurrected many of her Cigarettes & Coffee posts at Sideshow Barb. I've long appreciated the powerful honesty of Barb's writing on topics from adoption to secondary infertility to mental illness. As well as the occasional hilarious swipe at her cat. Read on to learn more about Barb and her blog.
April 12, 2011
Meet Rachel from White Sugar, Brown Sugar
March 10, 2011
Meet the Two Rebekahs
I wanted to interview them because they are semi-unusual in that both are active adoption bloggers who freely share their blogs with one another. The two Rebekahs write about their experiences as an adoptive parent and first parent, respectively, at Heart Cries and Sailing My Way Through.
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