Comments on Production, Not Reproduction | A blog about open adoption and home of Open Adoption Bloggers: Open Adoption Roundtable #10

Timely topic for us as well... thanks for facilita...

2009-11-30T11:07:22.719-08:00

Timely topic for us as well... thanks for facilitating it!

http://scatteredthoughtsofamom.blogspot.com/2009/11/open-adoption-roundtable-birthdays.html

Here's my closed adoptee's view of birthda...

2009-11-25T05:17:57.848-08:00

Here's my closed adoptee's view of birthdays
http://tinyurl.com/ylqcfhx

I'm excited to see this Open Adoption Roundtab...

2009-11-23T14:45:12.827-08:00

I'm excited to see this Open Adoption Roundtable. I'm not sure if I am leaving a comment in the correct spot as I've never commented on a blog before...I am and adoptee and a birthmother. I chose open adoption because, growing up and even today, I have every little information about my birth family. The family I placed my daughter with wanted openness even more than I did. While there were painful moments watching her with her adoptive family, I knew it was important. It allowed closure in a different way. Birthdays were/are bittersweet. Now that I am married and have children, it is much less painful. Her birthday and Mothers Day were my time to grieve. To allow all the pain to surface. I wanted to FEEL because the rest of the time I had to pull up my boot straps and proceed with life as "normal". Her parents always did something extra special on those days to let me know I wasn't forgotten. They are wonderful people...

I know I'm not part of your roundtable, but I ...

2009-11-21T00:26:29.486-08:00

I know I'm not part of your roundtable, but I just wanted to thank you for this post. My husband and I are in the process of adopting our 2 year old through the foster care system, so, while our situation is different from yours, it still has similarities. Once the adoption is finalized, it is our choice how much or little contact he has with his birth mom. It's great to see opinions from both sides.

Is everyone in your roundtable a traditional domestic adoption, or are any of them foster-based? I would think it might be a little different in a foster case, as the children were taken away from the birth parents due to negligence, abuse, etc.

Anyway, sorry for the rambling comment!

Happy ICLW!

I saw the invitation to join this roundtable over ...

2009-11-20T22:20:44.642-08:00

I saw the invitation to join this roundtable over on Thanksgivingmom's blog. This is an older post of mine, but I would like to contribute it to the roundtable:

Open Adoption: They knew it would work

While doing my masters thesis on PTSD in natural mothers, I came across a number of articles by researchers (1976 and on) who were studying how open adoption would affect surrender rates. I was alarmed that it had been primarily developed to persuade mothers to surrender their babies. So, this blog post details a few of those studies.

Cedar

It is so valuable to me to read other peoples'...

2009-11-20T13:04:47.371-08:00

It is so valuable to me to read other peoples' experiences. We don't have a written open adoption agreement. Funnily enough, I would have thought of it as requirements for US, not thinking that maybe DS' first mom ('M') might also be called to commit to anything. It has been especially educational to read the experience of first parents (moms) who don't feel entitled or in a position to e.g. send a birthday card or gift. So when I last wrote to M I mentioned that it was fine if she wanted to send something to DS (it is hard to say it without sounding like "send a gift! Now!). I realized she might feel like she needed permission.

This is also the emotional time of year for me. We had the call about DS and his bmom the day before thanksgiving, we told our families at christmas and he was born just after new year. His birth is so tied up with meeting M I can't imagine thinking of it without thinking of her.

Elly

Mine is also long-winded. That said, Munchkin'...

2009-11-19T07:44:43.119-08:00

Mine is also long-winded. That said, Munchkin's birthday is right around the corner so I'm feeling *VERY* introspective.

http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2009/11/19/open-adoption-roundtable-birthdays/

Here it is: http://adoptionpuzzle.blogspot.com/200...

2009-11-18T15:09:29.594-08:00

Here it is:
http://adoptionpuzzle.blogspot.com/2009/11/birthdays-oart-10.html

As a warning, I think NaNoWriMo has made me long winded and has completely turned off my inner editor...

@Leigh - Here is fine!

2009-11-18T14:35:13.382-08:00

@Leigh - Here is fine!

Do we put the links here or on Thanksgivingmom'...

2009-11-18T14:22:28.196-08:00

Do we put the links here or on Thanksgivingmom's page?

http://sturdyyetfragile.blogspot.com/2009/11/oart-10.html

sorry if I did it wrong!

We've had people think we were crazy for havin...

2009-11-18T04:44:27.209-08:00

We've had people think we were crazy for having our daughter's birthmom at the birthday party. Eager to read other posts of people doing that same thing.
http://alwaysandforeverfamily.blogspot.com/2009/11/birthdays-on-open-adoption-roudntable.html

I'm back, I'm back! Don't call me a s...

2009-11-17T21:01:49.496-08:00

I'm back, I'm back! Don't call me a slacker and laugh and point, please!

http://virtualworldtourjess.blogspot.com/2009/11/open-adoption-round-table-10birthdays.html

Mine won't be up until the morning, but it'...

2009-11-17T20:31:43.203-08:00

Mine won't be up until the morning, but it's at http://susiebook.wordpress.com/2009/11/18/open-adoption-roundtable-10/

Great timing for me too, btw. ;)

Am I first?? Cool!! http://infertilitylicks.blogs...

2009-11-17T14:03:45.412-08:00

Am I first?? Cool!!

http://infertilitylicks.blogspot.com/2009/11/its-her-day-oart-10.html