tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post2183607757133809833..comments2023-07-28T02:29:08.172-07:00Comments on Production, Not Reproduction | A blog about open adoption: Airing Tuesday: SunshineHeatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05737780263679929983noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-52734472923762117032010-05-06T20:02:40.176-07:002010-05-06T20:02:40.176-07:00My adoptive parents made sure that I placed. I don...My adoptive parents made sure that I placed. I don't think open adoption is any less traumatic, or that pressure is always less than it used to be to place. They just use different techniques to convince women, and opening adoptions is one of those techniquesSustainableFamilieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08820607553556177222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-20687329398415072892010-05-05T17:24:34.436-07:002010-05-05T17:24:34.436-07:00Heather--Nikole finally told us his last name when...Heather--Nikole finally told us his last name when Stephen was a couple of months old. She recently clarified the spelling of his last name and said that he had posted a message on her MySpace page about being sorry how their relationship ended. She quoted the state he's in now, and the FB profile confirmed what she knew. His page is private and I wasn't about to "friend" him, so all I can see is a shadowed face under a hoodie. She seems to think he could figure out that Stephen is his by the dates they were together and Stephen's age. She has no plans to tell him. I am here wondering if his birthdad and his parents would want to know of his existence, and where my boundaries are.Sonyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07418515339697027770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-90743442240438411842010-05-04T20:36:39.993-07:002010-05-04T20:36:39.993-07:00Just watched it. I see the contrast between the ol...Just watched it. I see the contrast between the old days and the new, as pointed out by the staff member from Marywood, is that nowadays, there isn't a market for the maternity home because there isn't the same need for secrecy...but maybe today, the shame and secrecy are shifted onto placing babies for adoption (because these days you don't "have to" place them)rather than on getting pregnant in the first place.<br /><br />My mom was pregnant when she got married (or else) in 1964. I wasn't married when I got pregnant in 1993 and no one in my family batted an eye about it--but if I had placed my baby for adoption, I am sure they would all have freaked out totally and ostracized me out of fear and shame. <br /><br />And, oh, the conservative grandpa's subject-changing tactics.<br />Did they used to teach that in school? My dad is around his age and uses the same technique. Not smooth.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18085505673033178308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-72512178428190102592010-05-04T01:27:03.678-07:002010-05-04T01:27:03.678-07:00@Sonya - Wow, that's huge. And only you know e...<i>@<b>Sonya</b> - Wow, that's huge. And only you know everything that's involved here. Could you start by talking to Nikole? What does she think of you finding/reaching out to him? It's hard sometimes, balancing our current relationships with our kids' right to information about their history. No matter what, I'd be grabbing screencaps of everything I found on him online and saving the info for your son.<br /><br />Have you thought about posting your question over at <a href="http://www.openadoptionsupport.com" rel="nofollow">Open Adoption Support</a>? I bet there are some folks there who've been through something similar.</i>Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05737780263679929983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-26743193605128336872010-05-04T00:40:12.992-07:002010-05-04T00:40:12.992-07:00@Hilary - Isn't it awful? I mean, you know the...<i>@<b>Hilary</b> - Isn't it awful? I mean, you know there are agencies and counselors out there with those tactics. But seeing it so blatantly stated is really something else. It makes me ill and angry that adopting parents continue to use them.</i><br /><br /><i>@<b>mama2roo</b> - Shhhhhh. ;)</i>Heatherhttp://www.productionnotreproduction.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-810063225690790002010-05-03T10:28:35.124-07:002010-05-03T10:28:35.124-07:00As far as searching for missing pieces, I found my...As far as searching for missing pieces, I found my 3-year-old's birthfather on Facebook. To our best knowledge, he has NO idea that he fathered a child. What would you do with this info? Anyone have any thoughts?Sonyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07418515339697027770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-89882050567084832192010-05-03T06:47:02.887-07:002010-05-03T06:47:02.887-07:00Can't wait to check it out! (oh and saw you i...Can't wait to check it out! (oh and saw you in a certain magazine I subscribe to this week :)mama2roohttp://mama2roo.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-73053969013793806282010-05-03T05:21:33.461-07:002010-05-03T05:21:33.461-07:00Just followed the link to Christian Family Adoptio...Just followed the link to Christian Family Adoptions and got a little sick to my stomach. I get so mad when people of my faith essentially use their faith to justify unethical practices. Thanks for the heads up on the movie, looking forward to see it.Hilaryhttp://www.september-29.comnoreply@blogger.com